- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2009
Calling all etiquette Bees …
I just had an argument this morning with Darling Husband over an etiquette issue. Adhering to proper etiquette has long been extrememly important to me. However, it is not very important to him. He bristles at having to do what some mysterious “THEY” say we have to do, and I often find myself having to defend why things need to be done in a certain manner, or, in this case, why they should not be done at all.
My stepchildren usually receive some type of Christmas gift from my parents, one of my aunts, and my brother and his wife. Darling Husband, knowing that his son would like to replace an expensive electronic device that he received for Christmas last year and ended up breaking within a few weeks, would like me to contact these members of my family “to give them an opportunity to contribute toward” this gift for my stepson.
I am not at all comfortable with this. DH, however, thinks I am being absolutely ridiculous to say that I do not want to do this, since my sister-in-law has asked what type of gift card we would like for the kids this year, and my parents and aunt have always given cash gifts. To me, one should NEVER presume that a gift is going to be given (even if a gift has been forthcoming every Christmas since Darling Husband and I were married two-and-a-half years ago), and one certainly should not contact prospective gift-givers in advance to “give them an opportunity to go in on a group gift” for one’s immediate family member (or anyone else, for that matter.) Darling Husband thinks that I am completely wrong about this, and he is very frustrated with me. He said it is not as if he is suggesting that we contact people outside of the family. He thinks that, because these are family members who have always given my stepson a gift, that we would simply be offering them an opportunity and that they are free to decline. I say that if we ask them, they will not feel as if they have a choice.
I told Darling Husband that we should simply wait until AFTER Christmas, while we are visiting said family in another city, and that, after any additional Christmas money is received, he then can take my stepson shopping for the gift. However, Darling Husband does not like this idea, as that then means that my stepson will not have his big gift to open on Christmas day. (He’s a young teenager, not a little child.) I also suggested that we could put the gift on our credit card and simply tell my stepson that any of the Christmas money he receives from family while we are in said city will go toward the gift that he just opened. Darling Husband apparently did not like this suggestion either.
P.S. If anyone is wondering how we afforded to purchase the original, now broken, gift last Christmas, we were able to do so, because Darling Husband had been holding onto the money my stepson received for the prior year’s Christmas as well as his birthday last year, for safekeeping. Those funds, along with what we contributed, enabled us to purchase the big-ticket piece of electronics last Christmas. That, apparently, is not an option this year, as, apparently, my stepson has already purchased things with his 2010 Christmas money and 2011 birthday money.
Do you agree with the position I am taking, or do you agree with my DH?