(Closed) Fight with MOH at bachlorette :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Just let her blow off some steam for a while. You apologized, that’s the most important part. 

Plan something nice for her later on, and apologize again for your drunken “oops.” She’ll be ready to receive your apology again most likely, but only when she’s ready.

Post # 4
Member
8359 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Give her time. She is probably tired, hung over and upset. Things should be better in a day or two. I would contact her again in a couple of days and apologise again.

Post # 5
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You were harsh but what you said wasn’t all that bad, really. You offered a lovely apology… let her cool off and get over her hangover, and then see where you are.

Post # 7
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think she’s overreacting a bit, especially since you gave a sincere apology. I agree to just give her a couple days. She should get over it. If not, then she’s DEFINITELY overreacting. We all say/do things (especially after drinks :)) we probably shouldn’t at times, but you apologized and even I can tell you really do feel bad.

Post # 8
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah I have to agree, she is over reacting.. I have a large group of female friends and when we go out drinking someone always has a bit too much alcohol and it starts to speak for them.. We usually apologize the next day, try not to do it again, and laugh about it later.. Part of being a friend is forgiving!

Post # 9
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think she’s overreacting at all. That was an extremely mean thing to say, especially to someone who’s spent a lot of time (and probably a lot of money) doing nice things for you, and being drunk doesn’t excuse it. Apologize profusely and give her the time and space she needs to forgive you.

Post # 10
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Give it a few days and maybe take her to lunch this week.

Post # 12
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hmmm… I feel like she is WAY OVERREACTING. Either that, or my friends and I are just not as nice to each other as you guys are! If my friend was being a pill on any given night (not necessarily a party), I’d tell her to go home if she wasn’t having fun. And likewise, my friends would tell me to go home if my complaining and moaning was ruining their evening. That doesn’t seem like an issue to me? 

Perhaps because you said it really HARSHLY, and due to the fact that she did co-plan the evening for you, the apology was warranted. But you gave it. She’s one of your best friends, she’ll get over it. You did the appropriate thing by apologizing, and now all you can do is wait for her to move on. 

I do like the idea above of making lunch plans for the week, as both a “sorry for yelling at you” and “thank you for planning my party” type of deal. If she’s still not ready to bury the hatchet after that, I think that’s on her and not you. 

Post # 13
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

umm I don’t think she is overreacting her feelings are very valid. However I think you did the correct thing by apologizing right away. I say give her some space. I think in heat of moment things are said and I could see why she pissed after all the trouble she went through a long night of partying wanting to go home didn’t deserve a response like that. However she also lets to let this go. If she doesn’t or causes issues with the wedding then I would say she was overreacting.

Post # 14
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sure she’ll forgive you eventually.  You’re a really lucky girl to have not one but TWO girls to plan something like this for you, though.  I don’t have any close girl friends to do something like this for me.  My mother threw my bridal shower and it doesn’t look like I’m going to have a bachelorette.  I think you should do something really special to let your two MOHs know how much you appreciate them.

Post # 15
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@LillyLover:  I agree. I can tell there’s a bit of a difference in how people are expected to handle the dynamics of friendship here, but in my circle, an apology might be warranted, but that’s about it. After all, she was being cranky and sour wasn’t she? She doesn’t get to hold this over your head for any more than a a day or two, and after that, she should drop it or risk looking like a child. You’ve already apologized very sweetly, and that’s pretty much all you can do.

Post # 16
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

To be fair, she should’ve just gone home instead of being cranky about people wanting to extend the night. However, maybe she felt that as a hostess, she should have a say in where it was going. Drunk and “too much birthday” syndrome can make people say mean things so I wouldn’t get too down on yourself. She did put a lot of effort into planning the party but I’m sure her being drunk contributed to her hurt feelings. She shouldn’t let that ruin the night for her; that’s the trouble with putting too many expectations into a night. It hurts so much more when something goes wrong.

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