(Closed) Fighting in front of friends

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh geeze. Well #1, not sure how old you are, but let me tell ya…anyone who has drank more than once in their lives has done something stupid while drunk. At LEEAASSSEEEttt once. So stop feeling bad in that apspect. #2 Yeah, it might have gotten loud and nuts that night, but it is no ones, I mean no ones business to discuss your marriage with your hubby or you behind the others back. Especially with such a new marriage. Wow. Also, honestly, girl, the way to show them that they can stuff it and were totally wrong, is time. Work on you and him (you two only), grow close, talk about ya’lls relationship between the two of you and I would make a pact that if you or he is ever feeling something, to tell each other. And if someone corners you two to talk about it, or rather gossip about the other, change the subject. People will realize, over time, that you two are the kind that can’t be broken, shaken, or pulled apart by anyone. And they will see that you guys are strong and they can’t shake that bond. 

Post # 4
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hope I helped πŸ˜€ PS. Give it a while, eventually each and every judger in this group will get drunk and do something twice as bad. Or worse. Then your lil bitch fest will look like nothing πŸ˜‰ Its inevitable.

Post # 6
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Get over it. You made an ass of yourself and people talked about it. Eventually someone else willl make an ass of themselves and then people will talk about them instead. Unless you get drunk and make an ass of yourself again. Then it’s back to you.

People, even friends, talk about other people and make inferences about their lives based on all kinds of things. That’s just how people are. Also, we tend to believe other people spend much more time thinking and talking about us than they actually do. Your friends would probably be astounded to discover you think they spend so much time thinking and talking about your relationship.

I don’t see any problems in this situation except those that you worrying about what people think about you are going to create. You apologized. They apologized. Everybody apologized. It’s done.

Post # 8
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@CurlyWurly…you are welcome, just rememeber…its Yall’s marriage, not theirs. (lol, sorry bout all the Yall’s. I from the south) Glad I could help πŸ˜€

Post # 11
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@teamajax13: Agreed!

It’s yours and your husband’s business. If he understands, forgives you and loves you, stop beating yourself up. Man, we’ve all done something stupid while drunk. One time, I was not only drunk, but PMSing at the same time. We were way out in the country at DH’s family gathering. All of a sudden, I wanted to go home. The more his aunts said “No, stay”, the more I wanted to go home. I flipped out and started just rambling about things that were private to Darling Husband and I (although we were just dating at the time) and cried and all sorts of nonsense. His mother has never let me live it down. Darling Husband has said to her “That incident was between me and my Girlfriend (wife now) and I wouldn’t call the kettle black if I were you!”. Just another reason they put “through thick and thin” in the marriage vows and just another reason why I love him so much. He knew it was a mistake, I couldn’t apologize enough…but we’d rather use it as a funny story and not let others use it as ammunition against us.

Relax πŸ™‚ And eat next time you drink, lol!

Post # 13
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Maybe needy female friend and overly emotional guy friend will get together!

Post # 14
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Moja Milosc: Then they can talk about themselves and not OP!

Honestly, you apologized and everyone said they forgave you and your husband is no longer mad…so just try to move past the situation. If they want to be petty and gossipy, then they have nothing else to do, really. Just next time you are going out as a group, make sure you eat before you go so it does not happen again!

Post # 15
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

Try to move past it, most of us have done stupid things whilst drunk πŸ™‚

When SO and I had been dating for about 6 months, we went out after work with some of his colleagues. I ended up drinking way too much wine, I hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch, and I got way too drunk without even realising it. Now, this was about a month after we said “I love you”, so things had just gotten very serious. I tried to initiate a conversation with SO about our feelings for each other (always a good idea when drinking Undecided ), and he said something like “Let’s not have a heavy discussion now, we’re out with our friends”. I got super emotional and went to the ladies’ room where I cried for several minutes, then I came out and started rambling angrily at my SO. It’s the only time I have ever raised my voice to him Embarassed I don’t think any of our friends really heard it, because we were in a loud club. He took me outside where he managed to calm me down eventually.I felt so embarassed the next day, and I was worred that he’s think I was crazy and break up with me… I apologised profusely the next day, and we were okay after that. It took months before I could think about it without cringing though!

The moral of the story; it will be okay, it takes more than a drunken rant to ruin a good relationship πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@teamajax13: kind of disagree here. I’ve drank, I’ve been drunk (lots of times). I did the usual college thing. But I firmly believe that you don’t do things when drunk that you don’t want to do sober. So I guess maybe yes… people do “stupid” things when drunk but I feel like its just a window into their true personality. Just harder to hide when drunk. 

@Elvis: + 10 again. I seem to agree with everything you say lately πŸ™‚

 

@CurlyWurly: IMO, you did a dumb thing. I haaaaaaaaate when couples fight in front of other people. It’s so uncomfortable for everyone else around. If you really can’t hold yourself together until you are in private then you should just bow out and head home to have the fight. I guess I always figure that everyone acts better in public than they do in private… so if I saw them fight in front of me I’d assume they were fighting a lot more, and worse, at home. All that being said, everyone screws up sometimes and you did the right thing by apologizing. So at this point there really isn’t anything else you can do except make sure to keep yourself in check in the future (and if you’re a person who can’t control yourself when you drink, thats an excellent reason to stop getting drunk). People might be talking now but if you conduct yourself normally moving forward I’m sure people will eventually forget. 

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