- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2001
I really don’t know where else I can get an objective perspective so any help would be really REALLY appreciated. My husband and I got married 4 months ago and are the first couple out of our immediate group of friends to be married. Anyways, his best friend is extremely attached to him and I know – and he showcased – that he was having difficulties coming to terms with us getting married as he was unsure about boundaries etc. Bear in mind, this guy is really good hearted but very inexperienced relationship wise and he is also EXTREMELY sensitive and emotional.
One of my close friends is also of the same calibre, as in rather emotional and due to her own failed attempts at relationships ( she kept being involved with horrible men that treated her poorly) quite cynical even though she has tried to mask that in recent history. Anyways the point of this isn’t to have an indepth discussion into their characters but to explain a certain incident.
A month or so ago, I went out with these friends alongside many more. Unfortunately I hadn’t eaten that day and I drank too much, and for reasons unknown I become the ultimate b*tch. I was rude to his friend and my friend, highly demanding and I unreasonably fought with my husband. In other words, I really REALLY put a damper on the evening. The next morning I woke up and was horrified. I made amends immediately. I apologised PROFUSELY to my husband, my friend and his friend and truely meant it.
Anyways fast forward a month. A few days ago I overheard his friend talking to my husband about my ‘behaviour’ and how my husband might be feeling ‘caged’ with me, and pretty much critiquing our marriage. Honestly, this REALLY upset. SERIOUSLY upset me. And to top it off because his emotional friend has become close to my emotional friend, I started worrying that she too shared these opinions and they were discussing us in secret. I know it sounds really paranoid but for some reason I am really upset that they or rather he would assume due to some incidents that our marriage is in trouble etc.
Anyways since that incident – I told him I overheard – he apologised and furthermore explained that his words were born out of his own experiences and he meant no disrespect to me by approaching my husband to talk about me and the way I acted.
I was happy about that, but at the same time I worry, people mess up, I know I cant be perfect, but my fear is if something crazy like this happens again, that people will assume our marriage is in trouble?
Anyways, I realise perhaps this message is all over the place but I just feel affected by this incident so any words, advice, insight would be good?!