(Closed) Fighting in front of friends

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Unfortunately this has happend with me more times than I would like to admit. Not lately but at the beinging of our relationship when we were in our early 20’s. We’re now 30. SO would drink and then do all sorts of inconsiderate things , I call him on and we proceed to fight. I would feel like an idiot for drunken bitching and he would feel bad for being an ass. This often would happen at parties. Just make an effort to avoid this kind of behaviour – it’s easily done. As someone else said, not to worry, it will be another friend’s turn to do something stupid and they’ll forget about your situation.

Post # 18
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@CurlyWurly: don’t worry – if it makes you feel better, my (now) Fiance once got really drunk and proceeded to tell his friends about how I had a yeast infection and how it had affected our sex life in a bar.  And you know what? i wanted to punch him that night but I didn’t, he was drunk, he made a mistake, he apologized and now it’s just a funny story.  we all do silly things!  and your relationship will stand the test of time, and that’s the best way to show other people how great you are as a couple. but if it still bothers you, just bring it up next time you’re out with those people, make a joke about it and then move on. 

Post # 20
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@CorgiTales …I never said I would do anything drunk I wouldn’t do sober, I’ve never even lost memory. I was merley saying that it made some do “stupid” things. I’ve never done a single thing drunk that I regret. I’m actually a very responsible, mother hen, when I drink. But What I was referring to was people who bitch out people (yeah, deep seeded feelings, I guess), People who drunk dial, people who drunk WB, and so on. Which is why I pointed out to her that she had done nothing wrong. She is on this list of “stupid” things. And I also pointed out to her that in time, her friends would do worse, which we all know people do, we will call this the list of “idiot things” or “this person should never drink again” list.

Post # 21
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@teamajax13: “Which is why I pointed out to her that she had done nothing wrong.” <– this is my issue. When people get drunk, do something stupid, then say it isn’t their fault because they were drunk. It is your fault– you did it therefore it is your fault. Being drunk does not excuse poor behavior. And being drunk doesn’t make you do something totally out of character, it just lowers your inhibitions so that you do what your better jugment keeps you from doing sober. But, like I pointed out OP in my post, everyone has made mistakes and she did the right thing by apologizing so all she can do now is move on and be more careful in the future. 

Post # 22
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@CorgiTales … I agree. It is no excuse. She needs to make it ok with hubs and not let it happend again. And move forward and eventually everyone will move on to gossiping about other stuff……

Post # 23
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CurlyWurly:

Yeah, I understand that. Best way to avoid it is drink less, and don’t drink at all on an empty stomach or in a bad mood. 🙂 When you’re out, alternate alcohol with non alcoholic drinks.

Post # 24
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Meh, it annoys me when friends gossip. Whilst i don’t drink and my fiance and I rarely argue, one time I was on the phone to a friend trying to get directions whilst in the car and my fiance was loudly talking to me at the same time/beatboxing lol. I didn’t yell or get annoyed but I kind of asked him to ssh and said I couldn’t hear or something (probably in a kind of frustrated tone but nothing terrible).

After meeting the friend (we were staying at his house) the next day or something he acted all concerned and said about “the argument”. He seriously blew it waaaaaaay out of proportion and made it sound like a huge domestic or something lol! The sad thing is, this guy is a gossip. He no doubt told the world about this, and no doubt HIS version of events not the actual “incident”. I know he told one person because they relayed it to me a few months later and asked if I was ok lol

I asked my fiance whether he considered what had happened to be a “fight” or an “argument” and he literally could not even recall the event (that’s how much of a domestic it was) but that it sounded really insignificant. He thought it was hilarious how it had been blown up so much but guess it annoyed me because people were being fed a tainted picture of our relationship that was far from the truth.

Whatever happened between you and this friend does not give him the right to go around rubbishing your relationship with a bunch of bs like that, especially after you apologised. Yes, it was a bit bad to act that way but it doesn’t mean that gave him the right to talk rubbish of your relationship in that manner. He sounds petty and jealous. Talk to your fiance about it, maybe he can talk to him, make it clear that he acted badly and reiterate that the things he’s saying about your relationship are untrue and unfair. If you talk to him, you know he’ll make you look like the bad guy.

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