(Closed) Fighting like crazy since we got engaged

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Wow sounds like there are some major communication issues on his end. Maybe he needs a little education about your anxiety and what exactlt it entails…maybe it scares him or he just doesn’t understand it. Either way, you need to find out what’s REALLY going on with him and talk it out because otherwise it may get even worse. Make him talk to you. If you did do something “wrong” there is no way you will be able to fix it if he doesn’t tell you what it is. Hope this helped. I’m sorry you’re going through this 🙁

Post # 3
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow.  You’re not doing anything wrong.  It sounds like he doesn’t understand how crippling anxiety can be, and that he believes you faked an anxiety attack to get out of the party.

That he’s not open to talking about it is troubling.  From what you posted, he sounds unstable emotionally and like he’s a horrible partner.  You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells for anything, ever, as marriage is all about communicating honestly with your spouse.  If he can’t communicate like an emotionally stable adult, then I would start to do some re-thinking about the relationship.

Just out of curiosity, do you go to therapy?  Therapy is very helpful for anxiety related disorders.

Post # 5
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
Elizabethlou:  aww, I’m sorry his attitude is wrong. But I can empathize my partner and mother have anxiety issues and sometimes it can be extremely frustrating to deal with. From his point of view anxiety is difficult to measure. 1. You cant see it / its not physical. 2. Its unpredictable. 3. It leaves you helpless (which might be twice as bad). I know the person suffering from anxiety doesn’t know these things either but for someone who doesn’t suffer it can be confusing. I think you need to be really transparent with it all. Medication / therapy / triggers / things that help. I feel he is struggling with understanding therefore helping. And trust me powerless is not a nice position. Talk to him. I wish you the best of luck. And as a uk bee I know sometimes you have to fight with the nhs….. Keep fighting for what you need x

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