Post # 1
A friend told us once “we never fought as much as as we did planning the wedding” and I thought, well, that makes sense. I thought it was likely due to decisions, family issues, etc.
Fiance and I have had pretty much a very easy road as it pertains to decisions. He’s really easy going and we’ve not butted heads on much. We’ve had some stressors re: family (both of our families individually, and our dog), but even then we weren’t HUGELY going at it.
But with 24 days to go, I swear, it’s like neither of us can get anything right. We are tense, we are snappy, we are angry, we are exhuasted, we are just generally annoyed. With each other. Personally, there are some evenings when we’re doing wedding things and I just want to say “please, go away. Just for a few minutes”
This is in no way cold feet, I’m not doubting if I should marry him (that’s literally the only light at the end of this tunnel…becoming his wife), I just wonder…did you feel extra annoyed with your Fiance as your wedding got closer? There’s just so much mounting stress for me, and I already have anxiety issues it is super tense in our house.
Anyone else experience this?
Post # 3
The closer to the date we get, the less time we have for each other. I work full time and go to grad school at night and am doing most of the wedding planning myself and he is putting in crazy overtime to save up money for the wedding. I said to him just the other day that it felt like we sacrificed “us” for this wedding. I’m hoping that once we’re on our honeymoon we can get back to doing “us” like we used to.
Post # 4
@VegasSukie: See, my Fiance and I are the opposite. All we see is each other. We work at the same hospital (but different jobs), the same hours. We ride to and from work together. He was working EMS at least one 12h-shift per weekend, but with the weddign coming up (not to mention the fact that about 8 weeks after we get married, he starts medical school so, about 6 weeks after our wedding we have to move to a still undetermined city….jeez talk about life changes) he’s worked less and less weekends. So we try to tackle to-dos every day. I see his face what feels like ALL DAY EVERY DAY and I think maybe we just need a day or so apart haha. He’s just the tiniest bit grating on my nerves (and vice versa).
Post # 5
No fights or bickering here…I actually am noticing how much he really cares about the things I thought he’d just “let me handle”…it’s pretty cute and a big turn on!
I’ll add that we don’t live together, but we see eachother basically everyday. We both work fulltime too.
Post # 6
I probably should have said “bickering”…i’m not talking about knock-down-drag-out fights that are HUGE DEALS. I mean like…”ugh you’re annoying me” “well you’re annoying me” back and forth, roll your eyes, please just go upstairs for a little while and stop talking bickering.
Post # 7
@BellaDee: that’s good!! Me and Fiance had many months of smiley, lets go sample cakes, lets go visit venues events and we really got through it being on the same page, lots of him saying “whatever you want”, lots of discovering that we have VERY similar visions and tastes about things. We got to the point wher ehe was like “i love everything you’ve done, if you didn’t ask me my opinion on anything else I wouldn’t be scared at all”. He knows I’m not going to surprise him with a 25-shades of pink and tulle reception!
Obviously I’m not saying that because you’re having such an easy time with it now it means you should expect any hiccups!! Not at all! I”m sure it will be smooth sailing for you both 🙂 I am SUPER anxiety prone and I am just…not good under this type of pressure and with all of these decisionis. Work stresses? No problem? Being responsible for making The Final Decision on any wedding isssue? Omg Im in tears and can’t make up my damn mind!! I’m sure that is the main factor in how irritable I am!
Post # 8
With our wedding 12 days (OMG!) away, I would say there have been more things coming up that we’ve disagreed over. But it’s not like either of us feel the other super annoyed by the other one.
For example, we’re hosting a welcome party since it’s a semi-destination wedding for most guests. My parens are paying for most everything for the wedding and we have a lot of family and their friends coming to the party (plus our friends). We were talking about the bar, and they said they’d like us to serve beer, wine and soda to keep costs down, and then have the bartender let us know when it hits $250 and we’ll decide if we want to spend more. They thought it might seem chintzy to switch to a cash bar, but at the same time we don’t want to spend $1000 or anything.
I thought that reasonable and unobjectionable. But when I brought it up to Fiance he didn’t like the idea. He thought that if we were going to raise up the amount over the $250 to say, $400 we should just say that up front and then cut it off. We kind of argued about it, and then he finally said that he could see both sides and if that was what I wanted he was fine with it.
So if we weren’t about to get married, stupid things like this probably wouldn’t come up. I think it also happens because I feel like my parents get at least a partial say, since they’ve been so generous. And that causes some friction with him too. But overall he’s great. I’ve been super tense about my appearance and the logistics of the wedding, and when I have a mini meltdown, he’s there for me to listen and help solve the problem.
Post # 9
Maybe you two can take a couple days break from anything wedding related and spend some time together just the two of you without wedding talk! Maybe a couple’s massage, or go out for a day at the zoo, or for a hike…anything! You may also just need some “personal time” away from each other without wedding stuff to recharge. I do not see why you can’t let him know that you need some space at times if you are feeling a need for it. It is all about balance!
My own experience was that we did not have any fighting or bickering leading up to the wedding, but we are not big “fighters” or “bickerers” anyway. If we are feeling stressed or anxious, we just talk about it and figure out what is needed, like if I need some time alone, I just take some time alone! We did have a pretty low-stress wedding and planning experience though overall, so there really was not much anxiety or stress with either of us about it, either. I just remember us both being very excited and wishing the wedding day was sooner than it was, even though it was already quite a short engagement!
Post # 10
@MrsDrRose612: You had me at anxiety! I get terrible anxiety too…so far, the wedding planning has been great…hope it stays that way.
The only anxiety i’ve gotten is when my mother speaks to me, because she TELLS me, instead of suggesting, and I lose it…
Post # 11
We have been getting along better lately. I think wedding has less to do with it and more to do with the fact that we are starting to feel more like a team. We run things by one another without thinking twice about it. I can’t say I’ve always done that.
Post # 12
We fought……………… a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT as the wedding approached.
It wasn’t about wedding related stuff. But marriage related. We were suddenly fighting over whether we should get married at all. And how we’ll never make it, etc.
Then we’d go sane for some time knowing this is just stress caused by external factors… i.e. our EXTENDED families.
But ya, really, these were really stupid fights. We’ve had all the important discussions before already throughout our relationship. I.e. children, finances, professions, etc. So these fights were retarded at best but SO MANY of them.
It’s a shame what wedding stress can do to you. Really…!