(Closed) Fighting more as your wedding approaches?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Fighting before the wedding?
    Oh yes! The closer it go, the more tense I was. He coulnd't do ANYTHING right : (5 votes)
    17 %
    Yes, we fought more the whole way through. Usually disagreements about who wanted what : (4 votes)
    13 %
    Yes...as it gets closer, HE seems to be the one who is very tense! : (1 votes)
    3 %
    No way, wedding planning brought us closer! : (7 votes)
    23 %
    Nope, wedding planning taught us how to avoid fights : (1 votes)
    3 %
    No, we rarely fight anyway. : (11 votes)
    37 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    The closer to the date we get, the less time we have for each other.  I work full time and go to grad school at night and am doing most of the wedding planning myself and he is putting in crazy overtime to save up money for the wedding.  I said to him just the other day that it felt like we sacrificed “us” for this wedding.  I’m hoping that once we’re on our honeymoon we can get back to doing “us” like we used to.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4431 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    No fights or bickering here…I actually am noticing how much he really cares about the things I thought he’d just “let me handle”…it’s pretty cute and a big turn on! 

     I’ll add that we don’t live together, but we see eachother basically everyday. We both work fulltime too.

    Post # 8
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    With our wedding 12 days (OMG!) away, I would say there have been more things coming up that we’ve disagreed over.  But it’s not like either of us feel the other super annoyed by the other one. 

    For example, we’re hosting a welcome party since it’s a semi-destination wedding for most guests.  My parens are paying for most everything for the wedding and we have a lot of family and their friends coming to the party (plus our friends).  We were talking about the bar, and they said they’d like us to serve beer, wine and soda to keep costs down, and then have the bartender let us know when it hits $250 and we’ll decide if we want to spend more.  They thought it might seem chintzy to switch to a cash bar, but at the same time we don’t want to spend $1000 or anything.

    I thought that reasonable and unobjectionable.  But when I brought it up to Fiance he didn’t like the idea.  He thought that if we were going to raise up the amount over the $250 to say, $400 we should just say that up front and then cut it off.  We kind of argued about it, and then he finally said that he could see both sides and if that was what I wanted he was fine with it. 

    So if we weren’t about to get married, stupid things like this probably wouldn’t come up.  I think it also happens because I feel like my parents get at least a partial say, since they’ve been so generous.  And that causes some friction with him too.  But overall he’s great.  I’ve been super tense about my appearance and the logistics of the wedding, and when I have a mini meltdown, he’s there for me to listen and help solve the problem.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5177 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Maybe you two can take a couple days break from anything wedding related and spend some time together just the two of you without wedding talk! Maybe a couple’s massage, or go out for a day at the zoo, or for a hike…anything! You may also just need some “personal time” away from each other without wedding stuff to recharge. I do not see why you can’t let him know that you need some space at times if you are feeling a need for it. It is all about balance!

    My own experience was that we did not have any fighting or bickering leading up to the wedding, but we are not big “fighters” or “bickerers” anyway. If we are feeling stressed or anxious, we just talk about it and figure out what is needed, like if I need some time alone, I just take some time alone! We did have a pretty low-stress wedding and planning experience though overall, so there really was not much anxiety or stress with either of us about it, either. I just remember us both being very excited and wishing the wedding day was sooner than it was, even though it was already quite a short engagement!

    Post # 10
    Member
    4431 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MrsDrRose612:  You had me at anxiety! I get terrible anxiety too…so far, the wedding planning has been great…hope it stays that way.

    The only anxiety i’ve gotten is when my mother speaks to me, because she TELLS me, instead of suggesting, and I lose it…

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    964 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We have been getting along better lately. I think wedding has less to do with it and more to do with the fact that we are starting to feel more like a team. We run things by one another without thinking twice about it. I can’t say I’ve always done that.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2321 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We fought……………… a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT as the wedding approached.

    It wasn’t about wedding related stuff. But marriage related. We were suddenly fighting over whether we should get married at all. And how we’ll never make it, etc.

    Then we’d go sane for some time knowing this is just stress caused by external factors… i.e. our EXTENDED families.

    But ya, really, these were really stupid fights. We’ve had all the important discussions before already throughout our relationship. I.e. children, finances, professions, etc. So these fights were retarded at best but SO MANY of them.

    It’s a shame what wedding stress can do to you. Really…!

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