(Closed) Fighting more now that married?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We went through a phase like that soon after we married as well, but things went back to normal a couple months later. I struggle with transitions so I think that was the root of it for us. I’m sure things will get back to normal for you soon too. 🙂 2 1/2 years in and we couldn’t be happier.

Post # 4
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This is actually pretty common. A lot of people have subconscious expectations for marriage that are different from dating and living together. There’s also the added pressure of having made the commitment to be together for the rest of your life. When interacting with your husband, try to really think about things before reacting negatively. Try to figure out the root of the new fights your having and then work on resolving the underlying issues together.

Post # 7
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@LemonJack:  We did too!!! Things are fantastic now, but for a few months after the wedding, we just seemed to fight about everything.  We had a couple major fights and lengthy discussions about re-analyzing expecations, etc. and that seemed to fix things.  I see what everyone means now by “marriage is a lot of work.” 


Post # 8
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Omg I’m so glad we’re not the only ones lol. Yesterday we prolly had one of the biggest fights ever! And on Christmas of all the days. Even though we lived together for a year before we got married he picks fights with me about the dumbest things and it blows into huge arguments..I also read that its a mental transition for a couple and knowing that marriage is permanent is a huge adjustment. I can’t wait for all of this to blow over.

Post # 10
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Went through it all of August. Post Wedding blues. Even though I wouldn’t have wanted to plan another wedding, it could have only been that because we did the same things we always do. I was just moody about everything and I started arguements about dumb things. Everything went back to normal after about a month-month and a half and now I couldn’t be happier. Looking forward to many exciting events!

Post # 11
3175 posts
Sugar bee

We go through phases where we fight more. Working more, money is tight, etc. Maybe this is just one of those times? I wouldn’t worry if it isn’t serious “red flag” fighting. 

Post # 12
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It could just be a phase. If you’ve been dating for a long time, you may have been expecting another ‘honeymoon period’ in your relationship after getting married and it just never came. I’ve watched that happen a lot with my friends. Sometimes you have to just accept that being married hwen you’ve already been with your partner a long time isn’t going to magically ‘upgrade’ or change how you two interact. 

I know that my fiance and I have ‘bad weeks’ every once in a while. We still end up loving each other, so that’s really all that matters. 

Post # 13
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Not really. With the marriage came new responsibilities that we would sometimes bicker about. Nothing serious and we usually got over it soon after it started.

Post # 14
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012


out of curiosity what do you consider “red flag” fighting?

Post # 15
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence

Mr. D and I have been married for around three months, lived together for a few years before the wedding, and it feels like the last two months or so have been really rough. I totally get what you are talking about, even though I don’t know why it’s happening.

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