(Closed) Fighting over…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@codysgirl16:  i kind of know what you mean, i am a really light sleeper, so movement and sounds wake me up on the regular. I try to go to sleep an hour or two before Fiance, and usually by the time he comes in, i’m in a deep enough sleep he wont wake me up. As for the snoring, is he open to the idea of going to the doc? maybe trying those strips you put on at night? trust me i know what its like to wake up multiple times a night, and it really hinders your sleep!

Post # 5
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I feel for you! I am in the same position. Darling Husband and I have been together for 10 years, and the snoring starting 6 months ago. There have been no changes to his weight, medication, alcohol use..etc, so I have no idea where it came from.

We’ve resorted to switching off sleeping in the guest room most weeknights. At first I was really upset, but now I’m just grateful to get a good night sleep. He feels bad, but in the end, I’d rather just have this solution and not want to kill him every night.

We always start off in the same room, but have a conversation about “who is leaving tonight” if I get woken up too many times by his snoring. One of us usually ends up leaving at around 11:30ish. But that means I get 6.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, so I’m ok with that!

Post # 6
Member
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@codysgirl16:  My Future Mother-In-Law and late Future Father-In-Law slept in separate rooms because of snoring.  I’m not saying it’s a solution, just that you’re not alone.  You have to understand that you’re mad at the situation though, and not him.  If you take your frustrations out on him, you will put even more strain on the relationship.  Waking him up in the middle of the night isn’t going to solve anything, but taking him to the doctor might.  You may want to look into a different pillow or as missashley said, breathing strips.  Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

My SO snores, has your Fiance tried the breathe right strips? I think they work good in my SO’s case. He only snores now when he’s on his back so I just give him a light tap and say you are snoring and he changes positions. Also a quick search on tips to stop snoring, has he tried any of them? Or does he just think it’s your problem you can’t sleep and you should deal with it? If so then THAT is a huge problem I wouldn’t tolerate, you should figure it out together.

Post # 9
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Wow, this sounds like my story that I had 2 years ago.  It is very frustrating to the point you just want to strangle them.  I slept with him for a year with it…and finally I decided it was time to move to the spare bedroom.  I too have told my husband he needs to go get a sleep apnea machine, and he agrees but never finds the time.  It sucks sleeping in another room and sometimes I can hear him down the hall.  Also you have to worry about it when you travel and you have no where to escape.  For the most part we rent houses wherever we go so we have our own room.  During our honeymoon we stayed in a hotel, a cabin and then another hotel cause we traveled throughout TN. I decided after the last hotel stay never again will I share a hotel room with him, its just to stressfull.  All I do is wake him up all night and no one gets rest.  People think we are crazy because we have our own rooms, but it’s really not that uncommon. 

Post # 10
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@codysgirl16:  I haven’t made him go to the Dr. yet. I want him to mention it at his annual physical coming up. I have a feeling it has to do with his septum or sinuses because he snores through his nose with his mouth closed, which is pretty uncommon. He also does it in any position, not just on his back.

I would never ask that he get surgery or go to extremes to cure it. I hate needles, so I would never expect him to do that for me. It’s just something I’m going to have to live with until it becomes enough of a nuisance that he wants to fix it himself.

 

@Bazinga:  We tried Breathrite. Darling Husband took them off in his sleep in the middle of the night. One time I didn’t realize one was stuck to his pillowcase, and I washed it, and the glue stuck it permanently to the fabric!

Post # 12
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@codysgirl16:  As a respiratory therapist, the snoring is very concerning to me. I would suggest that he get a sleep study as he may have obstructive sleep apnea. There is a huge amount of the adult population that has Untreated OSA. Its very difficult to get guys to admit they have a medical problem but he should want to do whatever he can to help you get rest at night. 

Post # 13
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@Codysgirl16- You need to tell him exactly what you said to me, if he loves you he will make an effort and try to fix it since it is affecting you.

Also I’d make him get up and leave the bed for the couch/guest room if he isn’t willing to do anything to remedy the situtation, maybe that will make him try to fix it!

Post # 14
Member
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@codysgirl16:  Please don’t think I’m saying that you were wrong (lack of sleep will make you do silly things), I’m just saying try not to make things more stressful (i.e. 1 person not sleeping vs. 2 people not sleeping).  You’re totally right in feeling frustrated, but I agree with Bazinga, make him sleep on the couch if he’s not willing to do something!

Post # 15
Member
1469 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Ugh, I would be grouchy as hell too.  I’d kindly ask him if he could go see a doctor for the snoring, he or she may be able to offer suggestions to at least decrease the snoring.  Also often regular heavy snoring is indicative of physical health problems so it’s worth checking out.

P.S. – Try having him switch sleeping positions too.  My boyfriend sill snore if he’s sleeping on his side but not on his back (or vice versa, I forget).

Post # 16
Member
9118 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Snoring isn’t his fault, so scolding him for it isn’t going to help. It isn’t something he can control.

He should go see a doctor to see if there are any underlying factors in his snoring, but waking him up just to say it was wrong. I would’ve waited til the next morning.

I get you — my father snores like a chainsaw. Always have, and it disturbed my sleep at first. After a while, I just stopped caring (Maybe within a year).

My husband snores. Not as bad as my father, but enough that he sometimes wakes me up. I usually poke him, he rolls over and we go back to sleep.

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