(Closed) Fighting with best friend.

posted 1 month ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
4348 posts
Honey bee

Having a healthy relationship/friendship with an alcoholic is impossible. I’d stay away until she hits rock bottom and decides she has to make a change. But experience has taught me to have nothing to do with alcoholics. 

Post # 4
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I am sorry, but if your questioning your “personal mental, physical, and emotional health” because of your friendship with this person, I don’t think it’s the right thing for them to be in your life.

Eventually, when she chooses to turn her life around, she could prove to be a great friend again. But right now, her closest friend lives in a bottle and you can’t beat yourself up about it. She will drag you down with her.

Post # 6
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

FutureMrs.Mann :  Bee, it may be possible to mantain a friendship with an alcoholic but not an angry out of control one. Even the biggest problem drinkers aren’t hammered 24/7, so there is a period in the day were she knows what she’s said or done while drunk, yet she still continues to do it knowing she hurts people while under the influence.

Someone like this isn’t capable of being a true friend.

Post # 7
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

FutureMrs.Mann :  Hi there, I think this is a toxic friendship and alcoholism is no joke. You can love her from a distance, but time to cut her off. You are who you hangout with. 

Post # 9
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2005

FutureMrs.Mann :  Is her drinking a new thing? People dont just become alcoholics overnight. While I certainly wouldnt suggest maintaining a friendship with someone who is angry and belligerent, it is worrisome if this is new behavior.

If its new behavior, it suggest that something in her life is unstable. There has to be a reason she is drinking so much. Is it possible that her new boyfriend is encouraging the behavior? Is it possible that he is abusing her and she is medicating to deal with the abuse. 

Does she have other friends who might know her relationship situation better than you that could shed some light on whats going on?

Post # 11
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Part of growing up is realizing that sometimes you outgrow your friends. Behavior that you thought was fun and silly can be not so silly and cute when your trying to be an adult. Don’t beat yourself up about it. 

Post # 12
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

FutureMrs.Mann :  Wow, 7 30 AM is on a whole diferent level. I’ve been close to several alcoholics in my family and from what I understand they could at least usually make it till midday or later before they needed to take a drink. I’m surprised a heavy drinker can even get up that early, let alone start drinking again.

It sounds like she may need real help not just with the alcohol, but what ever the underlying problem is that’s causing her to drink like that, because if she’s starting that early It sounds like she’s masking a real problem, rather than her alcoholism being something she used as a crutch and just fell into doing more and more.

It’s sad, but If she’s going to continue drinking I don’t think you can do anything more than tell her one how serious her problem is and leave the relationship at that.

Post # 14
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

FutureMrs.Mann :  She knows she has a problem and she knows it’s serious. Itsnot that she can’t admit it to herself, it’s that if she admits it to other people it will be awkward to go on drinking around them and she doesn’t want to stop.

Truth is, she may never stop. But even if she does, I wouldn’t excpect any big reconciliation, the way she treated you may be a reminder to her of her drinking. 

Your doing the only thing you can do in cutting her off bee, ifshe in-control of her actions when drinking I would say otherwise, but she isn’t. You have nothing to feel guilty about, nothing at all.

 

(sorry for the typos this site won’t let me backspace without writing the whole thing again, I meant *if she was in-control of her actions and *t’s not.)

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