(Closed) Fighting with Mom, not sure what to do – opinions wanted.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

10 days from now is a Wednesday.  What date is your bridal shower?   My advice depends on that answer.  

Post # 4
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My mom and I argue all the time – recently about politics as well. She’d never attack me on facebook like that though. Why don’t you try and call your mom and tell her as much as you respect her political opinions, you have your own and you should agree to disagree.  You should also agree to not discuss politics with each other or to judge each other for your political opinions.  I refuse to entertain any conversation with my mom about politics anymore and when she brings it up I literally just say nothing to her or gently remind her I do not want to discuss it with her.  Quite frankly, your political views are no one’s business but your own!  I’d also let her know how hurt you were by her facebook messages and ask her to apologize.  Then forgive, forget and move on.  SHe’s your mom, I’m sure you guys will work it out! 🙂

Post # 6
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

What a tough situation especially since you’re bridal shower is so soon. I can’t believe your mom would act so immaturely. Political debates and differences in opinions are one thing but if she criticized you directly that is uncalled for! I’m thinking give her a few days and hopefully she’ll call back. Do you have anyone else involved in hosting the shower that you would be able to communicate with other than your mother?

Post # 9
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mchitt329:  Your shower will be after the election.  I think you should wait it out, see who wins, and then hopefully everything will settle.  People get crazy about politics before elections, and then no one will care (unfortunately) the next day.  Giving her some time will also let you both calm down.


You could also consider what her viewpoints are, and see if you can understand them.  It doesn’t sound like she is willing to do that, but you can.  You could start a political thread here, or read some of the ones that have been going on, to see some different opinions.  

Post # 10
5427 posts
Bee Keeper

I would try to write something on facebook to get her attention (something nice of course!) Then don’t EVER discuss politics with her again.

Post # 11
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you should take a more proactive approach rather than waiting for things to just blow over. Your mom sounds like she’s being a big baby, which is really unattractive for anyone but especially bad on a full-grown adult, but that doesn’t change the fact that the two of you need to declare a truce.  I’d take some cookies or ice cream over to her house, and explain that you miss being able to talk to her about wedding plans, other family stuff, and whatever common interest you share, and that you’d love to make your relationship into a politics-free zone. Bonus points if you have some interesting wedding detail that you’ve not shared with her yet, like if you’ve finished the centerpieces or finalized the menu or whatever.  The cookies and the wedding details are kind of a bribe (well really they’re a peace offering). She can’t have any of the good stuff unless you both agree that there will be no more talk of politics or facebook between you.

Post # 13
9982 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@fishbone:   I like this idea.

OP, wow, OUCH – getting hung up on is so hurtful!  I’m sorry that happened to you and by your Mom, no less.  That’s one of my pet peeves – do not hang up on me!

You may also want to write her an email just to break the ice and ask her what the heck is up with this behavior?  So immature!  (Leave that part out, lol).  Let her know how HURT you are and that your daughter-mother relationship bond should always be far above and beyond anything like politics!

Post # 14
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@peachacid:  <—- Well put.  Wait until after the election and people calm down a bit.  I doubt she will cancel your shower between now and then.

It’s sad that she felt her comment was appropriate to be made public and you should definitely address it with her but wait until after the election to do it.

Post # 16
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ugh. There is nothing worse than being in an argument, or disagreaing with someone, who just ignores you for a while and then pretends it never happened. That’s not healthy.


I do agree that you shouldn’t be the one to reach out again.


What on Earth could have happened on facebook to set her off so badly? Was there something personal? I mean, I know when sexual orientation or religion gets involved (as it always seems to do in our American political system) people take things personally, but I’ve only ever known people to get really mad when they are ACTIVELY being supressed by one party or another (like a disabled veteran who might lose their social security or military disability pay if one party is elected, or my gay friends who want to be able to marry and care for their partners, or seperation of church and state issues, etc)

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