Post # 1
So, I’ve been living by the rule that the amount that you spend on a wedding gift should be around what you expect your meal at the reception to cost. Don’t know if that’s right – but I heard it once and I’ve been doing it ever since. At least for people that I’m not really good friends with. Anyway, if you can’t attend a wedding, then they are not paying for your meal at the wedding, etc., so that complicates my rule of thumb….
So then, how much do you spend on the gift? Should you spend less since you’re not costing them anything at the wedding? Or should you spend more since you won’t be there and therefore didn’t have to spend any money on a flight, hotel, etc? I’ve been living by the second rule – but think I’ve been sending people really, really nice gifts as a result….. (I’m a grad student and now I’m planning a wedding – I don’t have a lot of extra cash to throw around….)
Also, what if your invitation was for you and a plus one, but your plus one didn’t know the couple? Do you have to take into account the other person when figuring out how much to spend?
Thanks for the help!
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I’ve heard that rule, but I don’t follow it. I follow the “what I can afford” rule, and I’d spend the same whether I attend or not.
Post # 4
I’ve never heard that rule. Like marigold, I go by what I can afford. Sometimes it’s $25, $50, or $100. It also depends on whether or not it’s a friend or family member. I’d just go with what you can afford.
Post # 5
I agree with tessabella76 – don’t go out of your means, and just go with what is comfortable for you.
Post # 6
I generally give between $50-$100 depending on if the Fiance and I are both going, what type of reception it is, and how well I know the couple.
Post # 7
I always go by what I can afford, but the absolute minimum for me for a wedding present is $50. Any less feels like I’m trying to insult the couple or something… just my hangup, I know.
Post # 8
I don’t follow that rule either. It’s not my fault if you’re going crazy for your wedding and spending $150 per plate, I can’t afford to give you that much for a present, especially if I have a date! I give as much as I can afford, and take into account how close I am to the person.
Post # 9
I’ve heard that rule as well, but I don’t think it needs to be followed. It doesn’t quite make sense as a lot of people spend more than the meal just on travel, hotel, organizing their schedule to attend a wedding. I guess that’s one problem with registries is you link price with gift. You could get a thoughtful gift off the registry and not worry about it. Or get one on the registry that you like and are comfortable spending, they probably won’t analyze it too much and will just be happy to know you’re thinking of them.
Post # 10
That is one of those stupid ol’age etiquette things and no one follows that. And ironically enough, I am watching a show on WE and a THEKNOT.COM Consultant just said one of the wedding donts as a guest is to base your gift on the amount of your plate, so it shows things really change over time. Do it if you want, but you honestly can never really know what someone spends on food, some can get good discounts, some spend ridiculous amounts. For me, and its with any gift, it depends on my relationship with the person and what I can afford at the time. I will not be able to attend a close to Boyfriend or Best Friend destination wedding, due to the costs it will take to go and stay there, but I am going all out for a gift, $200 at the most. I always spend a minimum of $50.