(Closed) Figuring out the guest list…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

a lot of this will depend on financial contributions.  if your parents are paying for the majority of the wedding, you may have to give in to some of their guest list requests. 

Post # 4
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Guests lists are so difficult! I wish there was an easy button for them. 

My mom and I have battled over the guest list for about 7 months.  My mom is similar in thinking that many people won’t come.  I’m also worried that everyone will show up.

In the end, the person (or persons) who are paying get to have a bit more say in the guest list.  If you’re paying, go with your gut.  If your parents are paying, listen to them.

Post # 5
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Depends on what type of event you want.  150 people will feel lively, but really runs a good chance of it feeling impersonal for you and your guests.  I’d say absoutely not invite anyone you haven’t met in the years since you met your Fiance.  Some books say if you haven’t had a significant conversation/interaction with someone in the past year then don’t invite them. I had 100 people and I regret it was that big. Felt too impersonal as a lot of guests didnt’ stay long after the cake.  All that planning and you don’t get to spend that much time with them. Plus many who I hadn’t seen in years who came I’ve heard little/nothing from since.  But I’m more introvert, so I’d rather go small than big. 50-60 would have felt right to me.

Also, we had some people we invited as a courtesy thinking they wouldn’t come and they did. Stick with your gut feeling, it’s your day.  If your parents help pay, try to have them respect you by letting you make your own wedding decisions with your fiance.   

Post # 6
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

One thing you might consider is sending a formal announcement after the wedding to extended family members. If your future Mother-In-Law is so certain they won’t come, then maybe she won’t be opposed to this approach??

Post # 8
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

For our guestlist, my hubby and I decided who we wanted to invite and then split the rest in half for our parents. They got to invite that number of people, no more. My mom didn’t like that and tried to do what your fmil did, tell me they wouldn’t come. I wasn’t having that b/c it made me too nervous (and weddings are stressful enough without that!) so we finally came to the decision to send out announcements to those people. It worked out great.

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