Post # 1
This has been bugging me for a long time. My Father-In-Law gave all of my twine-wrapped bottles and the wooden roses that I made (bought the roses) to the decorator after our wedding last (2013) July. Do you guys think I can contact her and ask for them back? He was not supposed to give them to her… I actually wanted to sell some of them and use them to decorate my house, similarly with the roses.
This is leading me to have a shorter tolerance and temper with my Father-In-Law than I should as I cannot manage to get over this and am still mad that he told her to take them. Additionally I really really want them back.
Do you guys think I can still contact her to get them back? She would have been profiting off them for a year now… She runs a small rental and decor company. I tried contacting her a few months ago to get them back to use for a friend’s wedding but she never responded to me. If I need to call her and am unable to contact her via email, can you guys give me some tips on what to say? I have a habit of getting mad really quicky if I feel that I have been treated unjustly and if she refuses to give them back I dont really want to go balistic on her right away….
Post # 2
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
I think it’s too late now. Why now?
Post # 3
Who knows if she even has them after a year? I would say make the call and count on her not having them/not giving them back and if she does than bonus.
Post # 4
i would say its too late now. its over a year. after the first 90 days would be too late.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
My vote is that it’s too late now, too. Why did you wait so long?
Post # 6
Umm, it’s a little late for that now. If you wanted them back, why didn’t you contact her sooner?
Post # 7
Have you told your Father-In-Law that it upset you or have you just been short with him with out mentioning why? I’m sure it was just a mistake on his part. I’m a bit confused though why its a year later and its still an issue? I would have contacted the vendor immediately after finding out (maybe you did?) and I’d be attempting constantly to get in contact with her if she ignored the first attempts. As a vendor she should have spoke to you before just taking your Father-In-Law word for it but unfortunately she didn’t. Also, in case it gets crazy when you talk to her, do you have actual proof they are yours that you can show? In case she decides “no those were mine” and gets shitty about it?
Post # 8
Another vote for “Wow, it’s way too late to ask for them back now.” I think you should tell yourself that they are long gone — chances are she doesn’t have them in her possession anymore — and move on. It was a long time ago. It was an honest mistake. I’m sure your Father-In-Law had no idea that you’d have any use for them after the wedding was over. Seems like you need to get over your anger at Father-In-Law.
Post # 9
I think you’ll have to work on geting over it and increase your tolerance toward your Father-In-Law. It’s been over a year. The decorator may have just tossed them, to begin with. You certainly can’t ask for any profits back, that she might have earned for renting it all out. That kind of stuff doesn’t stay great looking forever – is it worth going ballistic over?
Post # 10
If it wasn’t important enough to you to bring up to your Father-In-Law in the last 15 months, then it is not important enough for you to hold a grudge over.
Post # 11
Sorry but it is too late now to askfor them back. You should have contacted her and told your Father-In-Law right after you found out.
Post # 12
My problem was that every time I started an email to her DH would tell me to just let it go, and I have been trying to do so but am still annoyed. Its come up again now because I forgot I didnt have them and tried to find them….
The thing is that I didnt find out until a couple of months after the wedding when I tried to find them. I dont remember anyone actually telling me waht happened to them, and when I asked everyone kept telling me to let it go… 🙁
I certainly dont want any sort of part in any profit she has made off them…. I just want my roses back… the bottles would be bonus but I can make those again – the roses were limited edition…
<br />My husband’s family is very different to my own and does life fairly differently so I find it hard to acutally confront them, they either brush stuff off or get all huffy that someone dares to call them out. With my own family I just tell them they screwed up and they go and fix it. I also dont want to cause a fuss because they are very kindly letting us live in their basement suite while we finish up school, however I forgot that I didnt have my roses and I went to go and find them a few days ago only to remember that they got given away without my permission…. 🙁
Post # 13
If it is still bugging you, just call and ask about it.
Eg. “Hi! I don’t know if you remember me, but you did my wedding last July! It has been a bit of a mystery to me what happened to the wooden roses and bottles I made after the wedding, but I was recently talking to my Father-In-Law and he mentioned that you might have them! Do you remember at all? I know it is late notice but I would really love them back if you have seen them!”
Chances are they are probably long gone, but at least if you find out for sure you can hopefully let it go.
Post # 14
My SO helped me move when we first started dating, I had a bunch of bags of clothes and what I thought was a seperate bags of stuff I wanted to get rid of. Well he ended up tossing bags of very expensive clothes! I was pretty upset when I unpacked and was missing a lot of thing. Did I hold a grudge for months and months? NO. If it was so important to get those particular things to my place I should have made sure it was very clear that they needed to come. I didn’t so I have no room to blame him as he was only trying to help.
Long story short if your DIY decor was that important to you the people helping you should have been told very specifically. If you couldn’t trust them to handle it you should have hired someone to clean up who you could hold responsible. Your Father-In-Law was helping you, doing you and your husband a favor you need to let this go before it affects your relationship with his family long term.
Post # 15
Personally I’d let it go as its really only stuff and not worth worrying over. But if its really bothering you then I’d call the decorator to ask.