(Closed) FIL blew up at me! — LONG

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1144 posts
Bumble bee

Wow! I don’t even know how to respond to this. I think that something is going on with your Future Father-In-Law behind the scenes to explain his behavior….or he’s just a controlling jerk.


Post # 4
3312 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you sbould let your Fiance deal with Future Father-In-Law. I would also let him know that he is not to yell at you again – ever. If he does, hang up the phone or show him the door.

Remember, you teach people how to treat you.

Post # 5
3775 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

Your Fiance should be dealing with this matter with his father.  If he allows his dad to get away with treating you like this, he isn’t much of a man.

Post # 6
8681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You should of told him to speak to his wife since she ok’ed everything.

But as far as the Future Brother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law and their divorce. Well it is not really their place to tell you that private information. Your ex-FSIL should have called you and let you know that she wasn’t able to keep the deal you made. But if there is bad blood with the divorce (so if your Future Brother-In-Law cheated or something) then I would excuse her for not wanting to talk to any member of her exes family. So I think your anger is misplaced here.

I was under the assumption that you are supposed to handwrite the envelopes for invitations anyway.

Post # 7
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014



I am hurt FOR you right now. This is a terrible time for  Future Father-In-Law to upset you and it’s not fair seeing as how his wife approved of everything. They are one unit, is she not allowed to make decisions herself without his say? That sounds rough. You def need to let your Fiance handle any and all coorispondance with his father from now on. You do not need to be shaken and upset before your wedding. He approached that situation the wrong way.

As far as the hair thing goes, the woman doing your hair should have extended that courtesy because maybe they inlaws didn’t know that she didn’t already tell you. The entire situation is tough because everyone should be happy and supportive in this time. I think the Future Father-In-Law needs an attitude adjustment.

Post # 8
1469 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Put a stop to this right now. He sounds insane and abusive. I don’t know anyone like this. Unless he has some mental illness that can get treatment, this is inexcuseable. 

Post # 10
27 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

Wow, you poor thing!! 

First of all, it is an envelope! An ENVELOPE my god what a controlling anal retentive man!! In no way, shape or form werenyou miss treating his son, who quite frankly lives in a car, where were you to send his invite anyway? If my Fiance didn’t stick up for me i would be furious! So you seem to be handling it well. And what about his wife? She OKed it (not that you need there ok and approval, they should be greatful that you were polite and considerate enough to do so!) he needcs to have a chat with her about it if it upsets him that much! 

Can you print an envelope for Future Brother-In-Law at a latter date when he has an actual address to keep father in law happy? 

You have every right to be upset, and if this man gets upset like this again, im sure he knows where the door is, and you have every right to ask him to use it. Goodluck!!

Post # 11
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Tell him that his wedding day has already been, this is yours and you will be handling things without his input at all because of the inappropriate way he has been treating you. If he yells, hang up the phone, or.say ‘this is not negotiable, I refuse to discuss this further.’

Seriously, it’s an envelope. He needs to get over it and your Fiance should be sticking up for you 100% here.

Post # 12
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sweetie, I am so sorry you are having to deal with a Future Father-In-Law that seems to have displaced anger and you seem to be the easiest one he has to take it out on. I agree with the other posts your Fiance should speak with his father and lay down the law of how to treat his future wife and his behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

You have been too accommodating and they have taken your kindness for weakness. From this point on any arrangements should be discussed between you and your Fiance. IT IS YOUR WEDDING. You know the old saying “no good deed goes unpunished”.

BIG HUG and I hope this situation gets resolved quickly before the wedding given the fact that the father is the officiant.

Post # 13
20 posts

You need to tell Fiance that he needs to have a word or two with his dad and that he is not to Yell at you every again.  Who the hell does he think he is?   Envelopes can be done however you want it but it is suppose to be handwritten so he can go kick rocks with open toe shoes!!

Post # 15
20 posts

This really sucks.  Like what is his issue?  Is he upset that his son would be getting his invitation after everyone else?   It wouldn’t have been a big deal to do his envelope by itself when you got his address.  I didn’t send out all my invitations at the same time.  Some were printed and others handwritten.   I just hope your Fiance can get across to him that yelling at you is not an option.   Sorry this is happening to you.

Post # 16
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would have handed the issue over to Darling Husband if that was my Father-In-Law. I would not accept that sort of behavior so I would not have anything more to say to him. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. I’ve had somenrough times with Father-In-Law but mainly through Darling Husband. Like you I didn’t have a father growing up so I can be awkward around other people’s dads. Best of luck to you. I really hope he calms down and apologizes. What a horrible way to start out an exciting time. 

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