(Closed) FIL is soooo rude to MIL! VENT!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Yeah my Future Father-In-Law is rude to Future Mother-In-Law in much the same ways.  She told Fiance recently that he’s told Future Mother-In-Law that he doesn’t love her anymore – twice.  FI says the relationship between them has been rocky for years, and he honestly wishes they would split up, as both would be happier apart.

I’m dealing with a relapse of my bipolar disorder at the moment, and am hypersensitive to others moods and atmosphere.  I’ve told Fiance that I can’t be around his parents until they sort themselves out one way or another.  

If I was you, I’d tell your now husband what you’ve posted here.  That you like his parents, but the way they interact makes you upset and uncomfortable and make you not want to be around them…it’s then up to your H how he handles it.  As I’ve always said *your parents = your problem*. 

Post # 3
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Maybe DH can talk to dad about it in a general way?  Perhaps he doesn’t realize he is even being so dreadful. But as for you, just stay in your lane though I know it must be tough!!!!!!

Post # 4
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Yeah… my grandpa was a bit like that. Just like barking shit at my grandma. It didn’t seem weird to me as a kid but now when she brings it up… I don’t know how she never told him to F*** Off! I would. My Fiance never orders me around and if he did…. whew buddy. I’d tell him to kick rocks probably. Now saying “Hey babe can you grab me a water since you’re up?” is not the same as “Get me a water” and I would not tolerate the latter. 

Post # 5
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Maybe you should just politely correct him when he does it… “You know ___ I am sure your wife doesn’t appreciate being spoken to that way, perhaps you could adjust your tone to be more polite when you have a request?” My aunt is the best at this. She manages to scold people in a way that comes off as sweet. 

Post # 6
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - 1800s era Church

View original reply
JLFinch:  Are you my cousin in law? I swear, same exact situation. My uncle is so very rude to my aunt. He calls her “Woman” tells her to “Shut her mouth” etc. I hate it. I only have to witness it at rare family get togethers where extended family is involved, but the way he treats her, oh I just wish I could put tape over his mouth during my wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Similar situation here, except not quite to that extent. I love my Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law, they’re both amazing people, and generally they are very loving to each other and have a good rapport and sense of humor with each other. But every once in a while Future Mother-In-Law will say something that annoys the crap out of Future Father-In-Law and he will just SHUT HER DOWN right at the dinner table in front of everyone. She generally looks embarrassed and sits there quietly after that happens. I’ve taken to shooting her a sympathetic glance so she knows someone’s on her side… but there are decades of family dynamic there that are none of my business. At least she knows she has an ally 🙂

oh – and I have let Fiance know that such behavior is NOT acceptable in our relationship! He has his moments (he grew up watching that after all), but he gets the look of death every time he starts to cross that line 😉

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