(Closed) FIL problems ugh! (kind of long)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Your fiance needs to start sticking up for you/taking your side around his family. If not, I would reconsider marrying him. Their behavior will continue even after you’re married if he doesn’t put his foot down now.

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I totally agree with barcelona. Your Fiance needs to put his foot down and make it know that you are his family and they either need to accept that and treat you with respect or not say anything at all. If they are doing this now, it will only continue to get worse. I suggest that you sit down with your Fiance and let him know how you feel and ask him to step up.

Post # 7
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, I thought my Mother-In-Law was bad.  I’m so sorry that you Father-In-Law are like this.  This is just horrible.  I haven’t had to deal with a whole family hating me so I don’t have any advice for you.  I’m so so sorry for you. 

Only thing I would have to say is your Fiance needs to start sticking up for you.  Maybe his laid back attitude feeds the rest of the family and that’s why they talk to you like that.

My Darling Husband has some mommy issues and we actually had to go to counseling before the wedding and the counselor told us that he does see that my Darling Husband has mommy issues. I had to sit down with the Darling Husband and tell him that I will be his wife only if he supports me as his wife.  I need to be number 1 in his life not his mom.  or in your case his family. 

Tell him that it should not be him and his family against you.  It should be his family against you guys as a couple.  He should be sticking up for you no matter what.  You do not deserve this disrespect from his family. 

EDIT: Also if he is afraid to stick up to any of his familiy members because he’s afraid they will get mad at him.  Tell him that he will always be blood related to them.  They will always be family but right now they are being disrespectful to someone he loves and wants to be with for the rest of his life.  And so it needs to stop. 

Post # 9
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i second what barcelona said.. he needs to NOT stick up for his brother over you. you will be his wife and seriously girl, take it from someone whos seen it in actions, if he doesnt defend you NOW, he wont later and it will get worse and worse.

just have a talk with him and make sure he starts defending you to anyone and everyone in his family so they know they cant mess w you. cuz its not just him anymore, its you and him. a packaged deal. good luck babe, sorry your going through this!

Post # 10
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I dont think you can make excuses.. maybe YOU need to speak up.. and Fiance will back you. I know that I dont let people walk over me, but approach it maturely.. you havent got much to loose girl. I dont think there could be much worse than what it is now

Post # 12
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That’s tough! You Fiance needs to stand up for you.  While his family s his family, you are going to be his wife.  If they can’t respect you than you need to cut them off. Sorry to say this but it’s the truth.

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