(Closed) FIL said what?!?

posted 9 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Bichon Frise:  That is pretty unreal that someone could be so cold and callous.  But i am glad to hear that your DH has stepped up and taken care of this and written the defense so you didn’t have to.


My cats are like my children.  If anybody were to ever say some crap that I spend too much money on them, my stock answer is “Well, what business is my finances to you?  Do I owe you money or something?  Keep your opinions on where I spend MY money to yourself.”


Bottom line:  its shocking how much stuff people think they can say and then stick by the “respect your elders” stuff.  We have a very outspoken grandmother in this family who abuses that mantra to the max.  She’s ALWAYS touting off her opinion on stuff whether people want to hear it or not.  

Post # 4
6582 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Unless he is helping support you and paying your bills then he needs to STFU.

Post # 5
3631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think it would be crazy to spend that much if it meant not paying your rent or something but if you can afford it, I don’t see why it is any of him business. I don’t consider my dogs equal to a human child but if they had a medical issue that was highly curable and I could afford it you bet I would be paying for it! 

Post # 6
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

people always have opinions on pets and their medical bills. I think it’s unreasonable to say that you should be spending money on some mystery children, because if that’s true, then shouldn’t he have done that instead of getting new golf clubs, or landscaping his yard? At least the cat is a living animal that you are attached to

Post # 7
378 posts
Helper bee

That is so rude!  Honestly it really was none of his business.  I would have been sooooo angry.  I think the respose that your DH gave to his father was absolutely appropriate.

Post # 8
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would tell him that it’s your cat, and your money, so you can do wahtever you want with it. I

just spent over $4000 on vet bills for my dog though, and part of me wants to tell your Father-In-Law to back the F off. 🙂

I found that people in older generations have different feelings about pets than younger generations. It used to be that if a pet got hurt they were put down – that’s just how it was. Now people are paying a lot more for surgeries and treatments that would have been unheard of. Some people still have a hard time thinking about that much money being spent on an animal. I do see how he may have a hard time with it, but at the end of the day it is your money to spend and I think you’re doing the right thing. Especially when you have hte money in savings – it’s not like you’re going into debt over it.



Post # 9
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Your money, your cat, your decision.  It’s not like your Father-In-Law is going without to save your cat.

Post # 10
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t respond at all.  It’s no one’s business how my DH and I spend our money.

Post # 11
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unless you’ve been in the situation, most people think its outrageous to spend that much on a pet. A few years ago, my dad told my uncle that he was out of his mind to spend so much on a surgery for his dog. Only a few months later, our dog got sick and needed xrays, surgery and multiple visits to the emergency clinic, of course my dad paid all the bills to save her!

People are always quick to judge if they haven’t been in the situation. I would just ignore his comments, its none of his business anyway!

Post # 12
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

First of all I just want to say YAY for you for being such a great cat mom! I wish more people cared about animal lives like you! I will always go the extra mile for my cats because they ARE my babies. 

Your Father-In-Law is wacked to tell you to do ANYTHING with your money. Why would you give to a charity when you don’t even KNOW if the money goes to where it says (so many scams out there) and suffer knowing you could have saved your pet? 

You guys rae doing the right thing! Good for You! 

Post # 13
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I completely agree with PPs.  I think it is wonderful that you have the money to pay for the treatment, and that you are willing to do so!  I ran into a similar situation with my dog, we spent 4K for her surgery.  She had a blocked intestine (ate something she shouldn’t have) and they needed to remove it for her or she would have died.  She wasn’t sick or anything, so the prognosis was pretty much 99% or so that she would make a full recovery.  I completely understand when people have to put a pet down because they are simply too sick and the treatment is unlikely to help.  But I had a coworker tell me I was crazy for spending the money to help my dog.  She implied I should have just put her down.  She said pet owners who treat their pets like children are ridiculous, why would you spend money on a dog when there are plenty of starving kids. I couldn’t believe it and I was furious!  I’ve never heard her mention donating to save starving kids herself.  We also had the money in savings so it wasn’t like we went into debt or anything.  Glad your DH straightened things out!  Kudos to you both and I hope your cat feels better soon!

Post # 14
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s great, first of all, that you have a DH that can stand up to his father. Bravo!

I would pay that much to save a cat! Animals are like humans and just like our children. I hope you cat feels better soon. Sending hugs!

Post # 15
3338 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t even respond.

Cats can live a very long time and in the scheme of things, $1,800 is a drop in the bucket compared to what animals give humans in return.

Post # 16
7225 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would’ve heartily laughed at my Father-In-Law. Seriously.

My pets are my children. I love them just as much as I love a child. Seems weird, yeah. I’m not going to dress them up or give them human names, or give them the rights that an adult has, but they have every right to life that I have. If there is a chance my pet will survive with treatment, I will definitely go through with it.

We had a cat a few years back named Mini Mews. She was completely blind in both eyes, she was completely anemic, and she had an issue, I cannot remember the name of it, but she had a vein that run straight through the middle of her liver, bypassing the “filtering effects” of the liver.

We were told it was incurable by one vet, and unfortunately, we lost her to it. However, when she was dying in the emergency room, the ER vet told us it is very easily fixed.

My father and I (Who were her primary caretakers) were absolutely, vehemently pissed off. We spent over 2,000 dollars on a cat that did not survive.

I’m not dumb. I know when it’s best to put an animal down, and sometimes it’s hard because you want them to live for you, and they aren’t able to live a good life. I know that. So, there’s always a limit.

My Father-In-Law would be the sole bearer of my vitrol and venom. He would regret those words.

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