FIL saying baby is spoiled

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

While I totally understand you feeling a little hurt that someone referred to your baby as “annoying” (no babies are annoying btw, they’re babies!), I don’t think it would be a good idea to distance yourselves and your child from their grandparents over something so small. I’m not sure when your husbands step father came into the game but I would assume that he hasn’t dealt with too many babies for quite a while. He will have to get used to her crying because it’s not going to end any time soon! I’m sure he loves his granddaughter dearly regardless. 

Post # 3
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

First off… you cannot spoil a baby. Babies need to be held to feel secure and to learn social skills.  In my opinion,  your Father-In-Law can stuff it! 

Post # 4
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

It is impossible to spoil a 6 month old. They just don’t know at that age, that you are going to go off into another room to get something, and you will be back. At 6 months they don’t know if you will ever be back and they cry. Your Father-In-Law doesn’t know enough about babies to know this. 

Your daughter shouldn’t be cut off from her grandparents because one silly guy’s ignorance.

Post # 5
Member
3927 posts
Honey bee

Please please know that there is no such thing as spoiling a baby. Even your thought of leaving her alone to cry if all needs are met is totally unnecessary. Hold your baby, love on your baby, this is what they need at that age. Your Father-In-Law is very misinformed on caring for an infant, and my guess is he wasn’t all that involved with his own with a comment like that. Your baby is not annoying or spoiled and needing to be close to her mom and in a familiar environment is expected and normal, don’t fight it and don’t listen to your Father-In-Law. 

Post # 6
Member
12506 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Mother-In-Law was the caregiver and does not seem to have an attitude at all, so I’m not sure why you think she needs to be punished too. She didn’t agree with her H or mind dealing with the crying. I would not stop visiting since that only punishes your Mother-In-Law,  but would also not leave your baby alone overnight with anyone who is so easily annoyed or who thinks a baby that age is “spoiled.”

Post # 7
Member
784 posts
Busy bee

Father in law is ignorant. There is no such thing as spoiling a 6 month old. I would be annoyed but I wouldn’t keep my baby from them. I’d be hurt by his comment as well but try to ignore it. 

Post # 8
Member
3453 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Uhm, 6 month olds SHOULD be picked up and comforted when they’re crying. ITS A BABY NOT A TODDLER. it sounds like y’all are treating her like she’s two. 

Post # 11
Member
3007 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Your Father-In-Law obviously knows nothing about babies. A lot of people from his generation are like that. I have a freaking background in psychology with an emphasis on child development and my in-laws say “Well, I don’t believe that,” when I tell them that you can’t spoil a baby. I think it’s to justify the questionable parenting practices of their day. 

I wouldn’t distance yourself, but I would visit along with your baby instead of leaving her alone there overnight. I do frequent supervised visits and invites to my place. When your baby is a child who can speak and advocate for herself then she can have her next overnight visit. 

Post # 12
Member
10078 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

People are going to say all kinds of shit about your kids through out their lives. I’m almost thirty and my dads friends still make comments like “she’s a handful” (uhhh, I haven’t seen you in twenty years?) and you can’t just hide your kid away from your ILs because of one off hand silly comment.

 

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