(Closed) FIL wants to bring the "other woman" 5 years later.

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should FIL's gf be invited?
    Yes : (109 votes)
    89 %
    No : (7 votes)
    6 %
    Maybe, it depends. Comment why : (2 votes)
    2 %
    You're screwed : (5 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    4925 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    They’ve been together for a long time, you should invite her. Just talk to everyone and make them understand that they are to be on “party manners” and they don’t have to sit together. If anyone involved is not able to be an adult about it, they’re free not to come. That’s how we had to deal with the situation for many awkward family shennanigans including divorced parents. 

    Post # 4
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MrsPhilly:  I’m not sure what the proper ediquette would be but my first reaction would be no, absolutely not! do not invite the other woman…but after reading and thinking about it i would say yes invite her…shes a part of FIL’s life and years have gone by, plus if Mother-In-Law is bringing a date, then why not! She can be there with her new man and not even pay attention to the other woman…but on the other hand..I would ask Mother-In-Law how she would feel about it…because in all reality, FI’s parents’ new partners arent really important…just his parents..sorry I keep jumping from one side to another lol…that is a hard decision…good luck 🙂

    Post # 5
    1014 posts
    Bumble bee

    If your Mother-In-Law is allowed to bring a random date, then I definitely feel that your Father-In-Law should be allowed to bring his long-term live-in partner.

    Post # 6
    8692 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    She should definitely be invited IMO.

    Post # 7
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MrsPhilly:  I say invite the girlfriend. Surely your fiance can ask his parents to put aside their past and feelings toward each other for the one day that happens to be the most important day of his life?

    Post # 8
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MrsPhilly:  She is his live in partner.  Regardless of how she may or may not have started out, he has chosen her.  They are a social unit and must be invited together. 

    Post # 9
    4940 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @MrsPhilly:   If Mother-In-Law brings a date, then Father-In-Law definitely gets to bring his Girlfriend.  At some point all involved (FIL, MIL)  need to look beyond past hurt and celebrate the day of your wedding.   The day is about you, your future, and your joy.  

    Post # 10
    12247 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If Mother-In-Law is bringing a date AND it’s been 5 years, I think Father-In-Law should be able to bring his GF!

    Post # 11
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @JulietFoxtrot:  This.

    You can’t allow Mother-In-Law to bring a randomer and ignore FIL’s long term partner, especially as you have already met her!

    Post # 12
    3229 posts
    Sugar bee

    Let him bring her. How would you feel if you FH was invited to a wedding and you weren’t but his sibling’s flavor of the week was invited? It would feel crappy.

    Post # 14
    7276 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would absolutely invite your FIL’s long term, live in girl friend.

    Make sure to seat them on opposite sides of the room.

    Post # 15
    3371 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think etiquette would stipulate you should, given she is a live-in partner of a number of years. And also given your Mother-In-Law is going to bringing a date as well. My view is that either both parties should be allowed to bring plus ones, or neither are. 

    FI’s parents are divorced (messy, bitter, adultery was involved) and we decided from the outset that his father wouldn’t be allowed to bring the other woman (who is still married, mind you). Part of this is because we know his mum wouldn’t be bringing a date, and it would just be too traumatic for everyone involved. As it turns out his dad isn’t coming to the wedding, so I guess that solved our dilemma!

    Post # 16
    1078 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @MrsPhilly:  If his father has been with that women for so long it would be very rude not to invite her … its their job as parents to play nice for big evens (births weddings and when people are sick or pass away) thats on them to act like grown ups no matter how un happy they are with each other 


    those people love him and if its even more rude if you allow her a date but not him if you dont let him bring a date she should not either 

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