(Closed) FIL/Car Drama, super pissed

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Is the father possibly more upset about the insurance thing? I drove company vehicles for a long time and since my husband was not insured by the company, my dad didn’t want him driving them. If you’re working for the company you should be insured- if not, you shouldn’t really have the car.

Post # 5
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Since you are going to be a part of the family I would go to the shop while he is there and say something along the lines of

“FI told me you were upset I borrowed the truck to run errands while my car was in the shop? Did I do something wrong?”  And let him explain.

1) if he had a real reason you will get the answer (if it is the insurance respond nicely that you didnt now and that you thought you were added when he mentioned it a few months ago- then he will have to answer to not doing something he said he would do)

2) he will have to face if there isnt a reason and actually respond to you.

People are not used to confronting their reactions and if you do it really nice you will come across as concerned that he was upset and he will have to answer to you.

It works like a charm.

Post # 6
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I like what @lefeymw: suggested. I know it wouldn’t be fun, but hopefully confronting him in a pleasant manner would keep him from being nasty to your Fiance. Hopefully your car gets fixed soon and you won’t have to deal with this for long. It’s strange that he’s ok with his wife and daughter driving the vehicles around all the time and ticked off about you needing to use it for one day. Is there a possibility that he has something else going on and the stress is making him blow everything out of proportion today?

Post # 6
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Double post

Post # 8
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m happy everything was resolved! It sucks that your Fiance was lashed at for this, but if he’s finally adding you to the insurance because of it then this may have been a good thing. Have fun doing all of your last wedding odds and ends now that he’s calmed down!

Post # 9
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What lefeymw and FloretteLiz said.

Also, would it be possible to rent an economy car, like one of those $20 a day specials, or something, while yours is in the shop, so that your Fiance doesn’t have to go through this again?

I’m so sorry you guys have to deal with this, your Future Father-In-Law sounds like a bully.

ETA: Just saw you updated while I was posting. Glad it worked out!

Post # 10
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well My husband has a company car and I cannot drive it under any circumstances, even when my car broke down and I needed a way to get around we actually had to rent a car from Enterprise because his company is very strict about their company cars and if he went to work and told them I was driving his car he would be in big trouble. So maybe thats why your Future Father-In-Law is so mad.

Personally I think your Fiance should have called him in the morning to verify if your name was added and just explain ahead of time that you need a car and then see what options he would suggest

Post # 11
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hmm, I would actually take a different approach and I’d reach out to Future Mother-In-Law, because it seems like FFIl is irrationally upset about this.  (It’s one thing to be upset for insurance purposes but that is an abnormal reaction.)  Say that Fiance mentioned that Future Father-In-Law was upset about the car, and that you never realized it would be a problem, because 1) you were told months ago you’d be on the insurance JUST LIKE Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law and 2) you didn’t hear otherwise from Future Mother-In-Law when you stated your plans earlier.  Then tell Future Mother-In-Law that you don’t want to upset anyone, and ask her what you should do.

I’d also suggest that Fiance look for a new job that doesn’t involve yelling.  🙂

ETA: Looks like it’s resolved.  🙂

Post # 12
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s good that he apologized to your Fiance..but until you’re added to the insurance, you should not use the company car.  It is really risky for his business for you to be driving it.  If you had got into a fender bender or worst, his company would be hit hard with the obligations and a major headache.  I know my company won’t even allowed non employees into the vehicle due to the risk. I hope that helps you understand where your future fatherinlaw was coming from.   

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