(Closed) Filipino Brides…I need your advice/opinions

posted 10 years ago in South East Asian
Post # 3
28 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

Fiance and I are both Filipino (I was born here, he was born there). We are doing the big fat Filipino American wedding, just not the Mass, but no one in the family is freaking out since no one is devout and some belong to a Filipino Protestant church.  Our officiant is Filipino American, though — we’re elated about that. We are in the process of asking our primary sponsors right now (wedding is next October). The holidays are a perfect time since you may already be together. We cornered a few during Thanksgiving and asked them. A few we will be sending cards (those from way out of town). It was really nice to do the face to face request — everyone we asked got very emotional. My mom’s only brother even cried. That surprised me since I figured they already expected to be asked so I didn’t think they would react like that (siblings of my parents, some older relatives, etc). It really shows you that even after generations of living in the United States (we’ve been here since the 1920s), many Filipino Americans still regard the role of the primary sponsor as a really special and honored one. You’re basically saying: "We love you and honor you so much that we want you to guide us and mentor us all of our married lives." So I think it’s cool that you are briging in your FI’s 3 sisters in this way. Don’t do it over the phone if you can do it in person. If they’re far away, a nice card/letter would be nice, followed up with a phone call. However, in my huge family, it was hard to make sure to ask in a quiet conversation so as to not hurt the feelings of other relatives who won’t be primary sponsors. I wish I could ask them all, but then my entourage would be ENORMOUS.

Post # 4
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010


Hi Jojo,

 Asking someone to be your sponsor is like asking them to be part of the bridal party, or asking them to be your godfather or godmother. These types of requests are better conducted face to face.

It also depends on who you are going to ask to be your sponsor. Traditionally, Filipinos ask elders to be their sponsors. By elders, I mean people your parents age– i.e. aunts, uncles or your parents’ close friends. If the candidates are older than you and are your aunts, uncles or parents’ friends, it might be helpful to have parents by your side as you ask them. This way, they are aware that you consulted your parents first and that your parents are behind this decision all the way.

Nowadays, however, Filipinos who get married ask anyone close to them to be their sponsor for the Cord, Veil, Coins and Candle ceremony. It’s no longer uncommon to choose people younger than you. I am having my two younger brothers as two of my sponsors for this ceremony. My mom wasn’t too thrilled with the idea, she wanted me to choose an elder, but I’d much prefer to have my brothers, as they cannot be in our wedding party and I want each of them to have a huge role in my wedding.

Anyway, I think asking your fiance’s 3 sisters is a fabulous idea!! This way, they get to be in the party in some way! I suggest to just ask them face to face, it will be more personal and memorable. Good luck!


Post # 5
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hello fellow PinayBees!  I am having a hard time trying to figure out the whole sponsor/godparent issue too JoJo! if i were you, invite them over for dinner/barbecue/make up some silly excuse for a dinner party and ask them in person! don’t beat around the bush, they will be honored to be a sponsor! My situation is that my Fiance is Romanian, and we’re getting married in an Greek Orthodox Church so even though i had asked elder cousins of mine to be our sponsors and i was considering asking a few more members of my family to be sponsors/godparents, i was just told a week ago that we can only have 1 (!) godparents and his parents already chose for us! ahhhhh what to do! 

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