(Closed) Filipinos and RSVP problems

posted 9 years ago in South East Asian
Post # 3
49 posts
  • Wedding: June 2010

Its not just filipinos that dont rsvp, babe. Good luck. I am planning on having my mom and my fi’s mom call and check on the attendance. 

Post # 4
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I just wrote a post about this "ettiquette…etiwhat?"  because being hispanic I know what you are going through.  I think if mom is disorganized about calling, you might have to call and tell them about the restrictions on your venue. I’ve had to tell my mom and grandma time and time again that they are not, I repeat not allowed to invite anyone without my consent.  I feel bad about this, but I have toput my foot down or they will invite the whole darn town.  Good luck!

Post # 5
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Kusinera, i am having the same issue you are! i too have not rsvp’d many many times to peoples weddings esp. the filipino weddings. Guilty as charged! 

What i am doing right now is to appoint someone fr. each side of the family to do a head count. So for example, i am having mom oversee her side of the family and she in turn will appoint two cousins to do the head count for their respective families.  My aunts fr. my papa’s side of the family have been calling everyone on that side of the familia like celebrity stalkers to see if they are coming before the invites have even gone out!  Delegate that guest list! Use your family members that keep offering to help anyways! 

I have also told all of my family that our max allowed is 150! I have brought all of them to my venue and have heard their gasp of horror as they realized that i truly cannot invite more than we already are! I told them if they try to invite any more people, no ballroom dancing or swing dancing will be allowed!  (its just an empty threat, can you imagine the chaos if i chose to ban it?) 

Post # 6
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

This is a tough one!  The only thing I can think of is to make a wedding website (if you haven’t already done so) – that is of course if you think your family and friends would look at this.

Make a page all about this situation – very kindly describe the situation ("the venue seats 300 people" etc…)

When you send out your invitations and guest info – include your wedding website so that guest will go and visit it and hopefully read your info… 


Post # 7
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

yeah, my Filipino relatives are adding their rsvps…..ay, ay, ay!!!!

Post # 8
1044 posts
Bumble bee

Haha…I went to a filipino wedding years ago where there were 1000+ people invited.  I had never seen so many filipinos in one venue at one time.  I thought I was in the Phillipines. 

Honestly, I don’t know how you could get control of it.  You could have your maid of honor and bridesmaids help and have each help call all the people invited.

Good luck!

Post # 9
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

well it’s a filipino thing, because there is no limit in the Philippines the whole village is invited and you kill a pig and everyone cooks and helps out


very hard to translate that here because customs are very different and more expensive



sigh guess I just have to suck it up or risk being alienated by extended family

Post # 11
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i "married into" a filipino family and wow…i ended up having families of families just inviting themselves.  the worst part was we just let it happen…i guess their happiness was worth it….can u tell that i’m still so ecstatic about it? hehehe

Post # 13
7 posts
  • Wedding: February 2010

WOW!  I thought I was having a hard time.  We’ve decided to have a second wedding in the Philippines for the “reunion” and it’s at a fraction of the cost of having everyone go to our local wedding. As my dad says, “That’s the thing about Filipinos that will never change.”  Guilty as charged.  Didn’t RSVP for the last wedding we were invited to even though we’re trying to avoid it for mine.

Post # 14
16 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

I had put in <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>”ME and the MISTER have reserved _ seats for”……

Call it tacky, but that was the only way I could keep our guest list under 200. Just like most couples, we’re paying for most of this wedding, and it’s scary to have extra people, especially people you don’t know.

I feel your pain, people.

Post # 15
11 posts
  • Wedding: March 2010

I agree with pinaybride….that is the only way to control the guest list. 

Most of my family is on the West coast, but I’m in NYC, so from the beginning, I was dead set on having the wedding in New York so I could control the size of the wedding.  My mom insisted on having the wedding in California at first, but I wanted to avoid the 400+ guest wedding.  The wedding is set for March 2010 in NYC and now my mom keeps asking me to add family fiends to the invite list, but we are trying to keep the wedding to 100-120 guests (especially since the Fiance and I are paying for most of it). 

Post # 16
29 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am also trying to have a very intimate wedding (75-100 guests) while dealing with the possibility of Filipino relatives inviting themselves and who knows who else.

To try to enforce the guest list, I am going to try to simply add the specific names of those invited on the RSVP cards AND on our online reservation.

While I am trying my best to honor my parents and all their Filipino traditions, my fiance and I are completely paying for the wedding and simply can’t afford to invite people who we never see and/or don’t even know.


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