(Closed) FIL's are breaking my heart :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

I think Fiance needs to step in & have a chat to them

Post # 4
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah your Fiance needs to step up and say something.  I’m sorry they’re being like this to you.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  *big hugs*  Don’t let them get you down!

Post # 5
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

all you can do is hope this passes when you marry him.

That or have a heart to heart with his family and him

Post # 6
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m sorry they’re like that. I agree with the others, Fiance needs to have another talk with them. He needs to make it clear that you are here to stay. They need to know that if they continue to push you away, they will lose him too. 

Post # 8
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think it’s really up to your fiance.  You need to tell them STOP as they do it…just not take it….or even, if you two are with them and they bring her up, just leave.  Explain to them it makes both of you uncomfortable and you feel that they are disrespecting your relationship and upcoming marriage.

Post # 9
Member
7753 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As other people say, how does Fiance react when they mention Vicki? Ask him to put them in their place when they do, saying something like, “Could you stop mentioning that lying cheating b!tch”. But talk to Fiance, he may be just keeping the peace and may not know how much this hurts you.

Post # 10
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

why continue to go over there? tell your Fiance how much it hurts you and that you won’t subject yourself to that anymore. stop visiting the in-laws.

Post # 11
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would have your Fiance really sit down with his parents and tell them t stop bringing Vicki up. Not only is it very uncomfortable, it is very disrespectful to not only him, but to you. If after he talks to them and they still act like that, then you know you both tried and just move on with your lives. You don’t see them too often so it should be okay.

Sometimes there is just nothing you can do. I know it sucks but at least you Fiance loves you for you and in the end, that’s all that matters. My IL’s hate me too because I’m American. It isn’t something I can change. My Husband has tried to talk to them about it, but they are still kind of cold to me.

Just realize that people, especially of the older generation, have very narrow minds. Be happy with yourself and your FI!

Post # 13
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@rosworms:  agreed.  Stop going there – Fiance can tell them that he is no longer comfortable there as they continuously ignore his requests to stop talking about his ex and he will not put you in that position again.  There is no reason to go there, to be treated like a piece of garbage.  EVER

Post # 15
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Agreed that your Fiance needs to talk to his parents. Obviously he doesn’t have control over their reaction, but he does have control over how he responds to them. If I were in his shoes I would say, “And Vicky also cheated on me and cheated me like crap. Cayday, on the other hand, is loving and supportive and will soon be my wife. So please stop bringing up Vicky.” If they bring her up again or say it’s not a big deal, he should tell them that they’re making him uncomfortable and his fiance feel unwelcome, and that is a big deal and if it doesn’t stop you two will leave, Then do so if it keeps up.

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