(Closed) FILs are procrastinators–will I be able to get past it after the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

It sounds like they are good people, but like most people, they have their flaws.  Planning is just not their thing.  I totally understand your frustration, especially since you are depending on them.  I think it will all blow over after the wedding.  I know it is hard now, because the stress is hitting max point.  Just try to see them for the good things they have to offer, and keep your eyes open that in the future, you can’t depend on them for planning things.  I sympathize with you, but try not to focus on it.  Think about if it’s really going to matter to you in 10 years.

Post # 5
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Fiance is embarrassed/upset, but why didn’t he contact non-RSVPers himself?

Post # 6
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hang in there!  It will get better!
 

Post # 8
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@navybangles:  You’re welcome.  I struggle with a similar thing with my mom.  She’s horrible with money and makes really bad decisions.  I have learned to love her for the person she is.  She has a big heart, and would do anything for anyone.  She is very creative, and has been helpful with decorating.  I try to see the good in her, and recognize that I can’t go to her about anything that involves money.  We all have our weaknesses.  You sound like a great person.  I am sure your in-laws are really excited to have you as a part of their family, and I am sure everything will come out in the wash, so to speak.  🙂  Best of luck!

Post # 9
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@navybangles:  I do think you are being a tad too sensitive.  Wedding planning is stressful and it exacerbates all the little problems you have with all those involved.  I had a similar issue with my in-laws… they offered to pay for the Rehearsal Dinner and same deal, we gave the go-ahead to do whatever they wanted.  No phone calls were made, no updates given, etc.  I started emailing potential venues, got no response.  We just made the choice ourselves… this place, this time, these people.  Done!  When it comes to the guest list… that’s their problem to figure out, so don’t sweat it. 

It sounds like your ILs are otherwise great people who just have an annoying flaw.  Don’t hang onto this and hold a grudge.  The Rehearsal Dinner will be great, your wedding will be great, and you have the foundation of a fantastic relationship with these people.  Don’t lose focus on the good stuff.

Happy wedding!

Post # 10
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It doesn’t seem to me that you will really have to rely on them in the future…and you may be jumping the gun worrying. The party may turn out wonderful. Not everyone is a Type A–and that’s ok.

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