(Closed) (ADVICE) FIL's gifted money for the wedding with a catch…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4402 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

That’s easy, you either don’t spend the money they gave you on a honeymoon or you give the money back and pay for it yourself. It’s their money, they’re allowed to put stipulations on it, even if you disagree with them. 

Post # 3
Member
5542 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

He gave you money to help out with the wedding so I would only use the money on the wedding.

When you have others help with the cost, that’s the risk you take.

I’m obviously not familiar with your inlaws but I think viewing this as a way to control you is a stretch.

Post # 4
Member
47445 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
futuremrs-s :  Are you including the cost of the honeymoon in the cost of the wedding? that would mean that they are in fact paying for 1/3 of your honeymoon, and that is your responsibility, not his parents’.

ETA Since you added information  to your original post: You are just at the beginning of a lifelong relationship with your FIL’s. The two of you have to decide if you are going to get  upset at every remark they make, or let them decide what is right for the two of you.

Your Fiance can simply tell his parents that their money will only be  used for the wedding and the two of you will pay for any honeymoon you choose to take.

Post # 5
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

What a strange situation- I would let them know that the honeymoon is going to be in Ireland but that you and your fiancé are covering the cost. You can even tell them that your parents have footed the bill for the honeymoon already. 

Either way, a honeymoon is customary and I don’t see what the difference would be if you went to Ireland or the Carribean.

Post # 8
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

So then you spend the money on wedding items and not the Honeymoon. I don’t get what the issue is here.

Post # 10
Member
5542 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
futuremrs-s :  

I’m not sure why you feel tricked, you brought the wedding budget over to them to discuss it.

Is the honeymoon a part of that budget? Do people usually count the cost of the honeymoon into the wedding budget? Asking out of curiosity because I didn’t think that was.included but maybe it is

Post # 13
Member
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I don’t like that line that it’s “fair for them to contribute” you are getting married not them. 

Me? I would ask them what they meant by it. That would have been a joke. That could have been a real stipulation. Or, budget wisely and pay for the honeymoon yourself. 

Post # 14
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

You are an adult, and if it is YOUR money you are spending on the Honeymoon, then you can go and do anything you damn well please. Don’t let their comments keep you from having your dream Honeymoon if you are paying for it.

The topic ‘(ADVICE) FIL's gifted money for the wedding with a catch…’ is closed to new replies.

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