- 12 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
I guess I spoke too soon when I said last week that I hadn’t experienced much “wedding drama” yet – I sure have my fair share now! I know this is long but I’ve got to get this off my chest and I could really use some advice and support from any destination bees (or any others!) who have dealt with this sort of thing.
Mom and I went to Hawai’i last week for our planning tour and before I left I assigned Fiance with the task of getting a guest list and addresses from his father. When I got back, I mentioned it to him and he said “oh…” and looked down. At first I thought it was just because he forgot to do it but then he told me what’s really going on.
Apparently, his aunt and most of his family are super upset that we’re having the wedding in Hawai’i because they will “not be able to come” because it will be expensive and they “can’t fly with the kids.” They think we should have the wedding locally or, preferably, in Atlanta (where they live). When he told me I got SO angry for several reasons.
1) I have no ties to Atlanta and neither does Fiance (besides his family). Even if we weren’t having a destination wedding, it would NOT be in Atlanta, it would either be in New Orleans or Dallas so they would still have to travel.
2) I have wanted to get married in Hawai’i, ever since my parents took me there when I was 8 years old. Fiance has wanted to get married on a beach as long as he can remember. There are no beaches in Atlanta, Dallas, or New Orleans.
3) His family isn’t paying a cent for any of this – my parents are paying for everything. The only expense they would have would be for the airfare and the hotel. I understand that is not cheap but it’s certainly less expensive than paying for half of the wedding. I think that if they want to have a say in where the wedding is, they need to be paying for at least part of it.
I know I should probably just say “screw it” and let it go but it really upsets me. I don’t feel like this part of the family actively makes an effort to be a part of FIs life (for the record, he feels the same way) so why should they expect us to plan the wedding around their wants and needs? Why should Fiance and I have to give up our dream wedding because someone else is throwing a temper tantrum about having to fly to Hawai’i? The worst part is they are saying this was my mother’s idea and so they blame her for putting the idea in my head and me for going forward with it so it’s “all our fault.” I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable or a bridezilla here – they are being the in-law-zillas!!
Ugh, I just am at my wits end with this which is so upsetting because I was so excited about wedding stuff last weekend and now I just feel like running off to Vegas to elope.
Does anyone have any advice or been through a similar experience?