- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
I’ve been going back and forth on the name change issue for months now. I’ve considered every combination possibility under the sun, considered dropping my name entirely, and now I’m finally set on keeping my name. I haven’t told anyone but my Fiance yet (who is TOTALLY supportive), and I’m not really sure how to tell people.
So, any name-keeping bees out there with some advice on what to expect or how to go about it?
For background, my final pros and cons looked something like this:
Pro (name changing)
1. I don’t have a super close relationship with my dad, and no relationship with any other members of the extended “maiden-name” family
2. I like the idea of my new family all having one name
3. (maybe the one that is hardest for me to get over) my dad was pushing for me to keep my maiden name (his name) but because of the way our relationship is, I really don’t want him to think I’m keeping his name to honor him or his family.
Con (against changing)
1. it’s A LOT better for me professionally to keep my name
2. My social circle looks down on name changing (I don’t, however, and I know I shouldn’t care what other people think, but I do).
3. My FI’s name is a certain ethnicity, and I am not that ethnicity. I would feel like a poser.
4. I couldn’t bring myself to actually go through with it, so I must have some gut aversion to changing my name that I don’t fully understand.
I don’t know how to articulate this all to people, especially since it feels so personal, and I’m a pretty private person. What should I say if people ask…