(Closed) Finally Engaged, but our parents don't really care. HELP!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I’m in a comparable situation.  My fiance and I got engaged a while ago, and he’s an only child.  One would imagine that his mom would be excited that her only kid is getting married; however, the only excitment she has shown is over helping make bouquets.  Other than her saying that she can help if we do our own fake flower arrangements, all she’s done is tell us what we HAVE to do for our wedding…where it HAS to be, who HAS to be invited, where we can live and when, how we’re going to raise our kids….it’s completely opposite of what one would expect.

My parents aren’t overly excited either.  They’re super happy for us, but they suggested we elope because that’s what they did and then we would be able to avoid any drama that would happen.

It’s upsetting when you have all the excitement in the world and those closest to you don’t really share it.

Post # 3
Member
4229 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

If it makes you feel any better, when I called my Mom to tell her I was getting married, she simply said “well, [insert name of high school boyfriend] gave you a promise ring. Are you SURE this isn’t just the same thing?” My Dad never offered any congratulations. In fact, he never really said anything about it. Neither did my brother. He just said “oh”.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
3113 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Our parents dont care either, honestly in my experience the bride and groom are the only ones really super excited about the details and stuff, especially the older you are I think. 

It doesn’t mean they aren’t happy for you, and I’m sure on the actual day they will enjoy themselves and be excited for you. 

Post # 6
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee

I hate to sound like a downer (congrats by the way!), but you guys have been together for 9 years.  My FI’s family is having the same reaction to his sisters engagement (older, second marriages and have been discussing marriage since earlier last year).  I don’t think it’s a place of negativity, more just being used to you guys together and not being surprised.

It’s not an uncommon reaction, and it’s not a negative one.  We tend to think everyone is as excited about our engagement as we are, which is just not the case.  Everyone is different.

Post # 7
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

We became engaged a week ago. My dad already knew it was happening because my Fiance told him. I had spoken to my mum months earlier saying we were planning on becoming engaged sometime this year.

After the proposal my dad called the day after, I told him, no congratulations or anything. I literally only just got off the phone to my mum (a week after proposal) and she congratulated us.

His family seemed more excited though, messages of love and congratulations from all angles! I think maybe it’s because my family basically knew it was coming anyway so they weren’t surprised in the slightest. I don’t think he had really mentioned it to his folks, or anyone else.

Post # 8
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’ve had the same kind of reaction from our families.  My family just generally seem very meh about the whole thing.  They are all happy for us, but I think they just wont be as excited as we are.  My fiances family have had a less than positive reaction, in the first couple of months Future Mother-In-Law made it obvious she wasn’t happy and kept calling Fiance telling him how disappointed the family was and how his grandparents are so unhappy about it all, questioning our finances and if we can even afford it.  They are less negative now but no one ever asks about it, no one ever wants to know how its going and if I bring up anything they change the subject and are all very uninterested.  I dont mind because I know that it doesn’t even matter what any of them feel on the day, only what me and my fiance feel – as it is OUR wedding and celebrating our love.

I’m sure you have a wonderful wedding party who are super excited, so just focus on wedding planning with them 🙂

Post # 9
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

TWifeit:  usually when it gets closer to the wedding, the excitement from everyone builds.

i know it’s disappointing when people you expect to be excited are not. i’ve had my fair share of that too with some others when we got engaged. it hurt. but i also realized life goes on for everyone else, and as everyone says, no one will be as excited for your wedding as you are. 

Post # 10
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

This could be off base, but maybe they’re acting like they don’t care because you’ve been together 9 years and so it’s not a huge surprise. They always knew you’d get engaged.

Sometimes it’s also hard for parents to accept their child getting married  

Just wanted to say I can relate. Neither of my parents were excited (mom said my FI’s proposal sucked, dad automatically said weddings were a waste of money, etc). I am visiting my dad now and he didn’t acknowledge my engagement at all until my stepmom said something lol. 

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