(Closed) finally just gave up…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

How long have you been together?

Post # 4
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s not fine if it’s not fair to you. Anyway you could take off for a couple of days so he can see what life is like without you?

Post # 5
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Do you have a timeline at all?

Post # 6
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2012

try to relax. my fiance did that too bc he wanted to surprise me. we had been together for 4 years, and i knew it was coming. however, he still wanted it to be special/ a surprise. so my birthday came and went, we went to nice dinners- nothing happened. i got frustrated as well. he proposed when i least expected it- on a tuesday after work, but it was the day his father proposed to his mom- 40 years ago. very sweet. as long as you and your fiance have talked about the goal of marriage, i would just try to take a deep breath and relax- as hard as that may seem. 

Post # 7
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you’re not happy with the ‘girlfriend forever arrangement’ then don’t settle for it! I never wanted to be married then I found myself with a guy for 5 years who wasn’t willing to commit and didn’t think he’d ever be, then I realized ‘why the hell would I want to be with someone who’s reserving the right to leave whenever he wants?’ Talk to him…seriously. What’s he waiting on? That guy is an ex, but when we finally talked about it, I understood his reasons (didn’t even kinda agree with them though) but that really helped us get on the same page. We did eventually get engaged, but only after lots of talks. But that’s what it took…lots of talks to just know where the other person is. My current Fiance did the same thing with me…sat me down one day told me how much he loved me and all that good stuff, but said he couldn’t invest anymore in us if it couldn’t be forever. I shared with him my concerns/reservations…we ironed things out, gave it a little time and now we’re 6 months away from our wedding date. Both of my engagements only happened after talking about it and understanding where the other person is coming from and why you’re not engaged so you can deal with the ‘why’ and get on with things ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with others, don’t settle. You live once and you deserve happiness. If he isn’t willing to marry you, then you need to find the man who loves you unconditionally and IS willing to spend the rest of his life with you in marriage. If this is something important to you, you will resent him for the rest of your time together. 

Post # 9
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@shirasagi:  totally agree, but i want to find out if she has a timeline, does she know he has a ring? does he keep breaking timeline agreements? i’d hate to see her leave when it’s literally around the corner. <3

Post # 10
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’m sorry dear. ๐Ÿ™ you should really try just telling him how you feel now before you give up. If he still can’t give you a straight reason why he doesn’t want to get engaged then you need to make that decision on moving on. You deserve to be happy and why is it always up to the man on when the time is best for him?! Ugh! Keep your head up! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way ๐Ÿ™ Best of luck to you.

Post # 12
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Remember it’s a leap year this year!  If you’re not happy with not being engaged, then this is the year you can do something about it!

Post # 13
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I find it funny that many of you are advising her not to settle; however, would she be settling if he was her perfect guy and they are incredibly happy together? I’m sure she could easily find someone to marry her – but would that relationship be as great as the one she has now? Could be, but you don’t know. If she’s in a great relationship, why end it simply because he’s not ready to marry yet?  Now if they aren’t incredibly happy together, then yes, she should re-evaluate the relationship, but don’t walk away from a healthy relationship because of a silly timeline.

Post # 14
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

@funfunfun:  She is settling if she isn’t having her needs met and sticks around. Some people want to be married to their partner. Im one of those people and I wont hijack this thread and go into WHY some of us want to be married. But, if she needs and wants to be married and he doesnt, she will be settling if she stays. There are men out there who want what we want, and if we stay with men who have no interest in giving what we need, how is that NOT settling for less than we deserve?

Post # 16
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

2 years is not THAT long to be dating before engagement, especially if you are young.

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