(Closed) Finally pregnant and have had nothing but drama.

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
1861 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I agree with you about waiting to tell.  That said, I don’t think avoiding your in-laws is necessary.  Just head over and fake drink a beer, etc.  You can pretend to sip it and just pour it in a toilet/have your husband secretly drink it/whatever.  I wouldn’t want him to miss a holiday with his family.

Post # 3
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

First of all congratulations! 😀 Its amazing that you’re pregnant, I wish nothing but best wishes and good health for you both. Second I would utilize whatever option you feel will cause the least amount of stress. Dont apologize for being hormonal thats part of the journey. I was an emotional baaket case the first three months then horny as a jailed rabbit the second three lol Everyones experience is different. You’ve waited this long to have a miracle and people should respect your wishes to keep it quiet until you feel ready. Waiting a couple more weeks wont hurt. But if its less stressful in the long run to tell everyone and get it over with go for it. Your husband needs to be a little more understanding under the circumstances, hopefully he comes around. 

Post # 5
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly I understand where you are coming from, but you are over reacting. Most people I know told their close family and friends before their first ultrasound or before 12 weeks. If you miscarry they are the ones you will want for Support. And trust me, doing a cute reveal/surprise never turns out as awesome as you suspect it will. His family will be surprised and excited whether you just tell them, or if you do some kind of fun reveal. But if it’s really important to you then hold your ground, but it’s not worth the problems you’re causing between you and your husband and his family. Just my opinion, do what feels right for you. 

Post # 6
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Let the assholes tell his family. Then if something goes awry, they get to do the horrible job of untelling people. What assholes. 

Post # 9
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Congrats on your pregnancy. I have had 2 losses this year so I understand. My husband and I spoke about this pregnancy (I’m 5 weeks) and have only decided to tell people we want to lean on for support if anything goes wrong. most his family weren’t supportive through our losses so he decided not to tell them, but he did tell his twin brother. I think you may be slightly over reacting though. This is his news as well and you both need to come to an agreement. It’s not just your decision and it isn’t just his. If something was to happen, maybe he would want his parents to know so they can be there for him. You never understand the need for support you feel unless you go through a loss. Having a miscarriage isn’t something you should be ashamed of. 

Post # 10
Member
47209 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Go to the BBQ. Tell them you can`t drink because you are on antibiotics.

As for the smoking, tell them the doctor told you to try to quit.

Post # 12
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

anonybee8683:  Congrats on your pregnancy!  I totally get where you are coming from.  The first trimester is so confusing and scary and yes, hormonal.  I basically didn’t go oput at all the entire 3 months because I didn’t want to tell anyone and it would be obvious if I didn’t drink. And I just felt like I wouldn’t be able to act like myself while holding in this secret.  So I was antisocial for a few months.  My Darling Husband was really understanding and went out without me a few times and told people I was sick or working or whatever.  It was very important to us not to tell people until we were ready (which for us was at 12 weeks) and I think your husband needs to get on the same page as you or at least try to be more understanding.  same with the SIL.  I don’t think you should force yourself to go to this BBQ.  Relax and take care of yourself.

Post # 14
Member
1861 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think you have the perfect excuse because he is sick.  Even if he wants to go, just have him tell people that you caught his yucky germs.  If he is still a bit sick, it will be easy for people to believe.

Post # 15
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t think you are overreacting at all. We didn’t tell our families until we were almost 13 weeks because I just wasn’t comfortable. My husband was ready to tell much sooner but understood my anxiety and respected my feelings. As far as your SIL, she doesn’t get a say – I’d avoid her calls for a little bit if she continues to pester you. 

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