veleniza : Wow ,I am so sorry. I have to revise my original opinion, which was too optimistic, in light of his continuing horrible reaction, and also this:
“We had situations in the past where we had a fight and I cried a lot afterwards and he would just ignore it and not do anything about it. It makes me think like the only way he liks me is when I’m happy and bubbly (which I am most of the time).”
This is just awful, and shows that his callous behavior is not a one-off, not just a result of his surprise at you opening up to him about your anxiety…but rather it’s a pattern with him. Unfortunately I don’t think there is much hope for this relationship. If he doesn’t end it, I think you should. I know there are great things about this guy and you feel “safe” when he holds your hand, but do you feel safe right now? Do you feel secure? You need a partner who will make you feel safe and secure not just in your good moments but also when you’re struggling.
My heart hurts for you because I’m afraid this experience will make you believe that you can never open up to a man again about your mental health issues, or you’ll get dumped. Bee, please understand this is far from the truth. So many bees on here suffer from anxiety, depression, etc., and have found wonderful loving partners who support them.
My own partner has an anxiety problem and has been in therapy for over a decade, and also takes medication. He told me about it very early on in our relationship. He casually mentioned something about his shrink in the course of a light hearted convo about something unrelated. Though his tone was casual, I could tell this was a big deal for him, opening up to me about his anxiety. I was surprised because he didn’t seem like the stereotypical “anxious” person (which I now understand is not even a thing), but I just calmly asked him some questions about it and then we moved on.
Later on, he confessed to me that he was terrified to tell me about it. Worried I couldn’t handle it and would leave him. But you know what, his anxiety has never been an issue in our relationship. Why? Because he takes responsibility for it and is proactive in managing it…just like you seem to be. He is in therapy, takes his medication, and doesn’t lean on me like a crutch…doesn’t expect me to be his personal therapist.
My point is, you are a mature, responsible person who is doing what you need to do for your own mental health. It’s your bf’s loss that he’s going to let one piece of information (that you have anxiety) outweigh all that he knows about you from your many years together as a couple. He’s being a coward. But let him be. You can and will find someone who will treat you exactly the same as before after learning about your struggle with anxiety.