- 7 years ago
Well I finally have a venue and a date: September 9, 2012 YAAAY! We ended up going with the venue that I selected initially after Fiance insisted I research other places that were way out our price range but beautiful. I continued to try to get him to understand that we have a budget which at times made me a real basket case, now after chatting with my in-laws this past weekend, and, answering a million questions about our venue before securing it , I started feeling overly conscious if I had selected a nice enough place!
Everyone in FI’s family was so excited and had such big ideas most I couldn’t possibly implement…but I was upfront in telling them how much we wanted to spend per person and the venue plans. I really felt good when me and my mom saw the venue but by the time yesterday I called the venue about my contract I felt myself making excuses to her because Fiance isn’t in love with the place at all!!! So when she asked how he felt I didn’t really lie…. but then I felt like” geez why am I telling this woman that my guy things this place is sub-par” after all she works there!!
So I emailed the link for the venue too my best friend and they loved the choice!!!! So I felt tons better but I really hate that I keep second guessing myself here….then I come on here and read the wedding blogs and most of these bees don’t sound the least bit stressed they sound like they are in party planning heaven with doting FI’S !
But here is the thing…. Fiance has really been finicky about all things wedding related… selecting and securing a venue was a chore not fun at all and a few times I almost screamed forget it!! I appreciate his input but we agreed early that we wouldn’t spend over a certain budget or invite over a certain number of people, yet he seems to keep selectively forgetting this. This usually means I end up being the “enforcer” and I don’t like that! I just want him to agree and stick to what we agree on but it’s his wedding too right and he is paying for half so I need to compromise and take his expectations/ ideas into consideration ….
At times I feel like Fiance isn’t realistic enough about our plans and it’s hard for me to be excited when someone so close to me just seems less than wowed… I feel like he wants me to spare no expense and be willing to spend a mountain of money on this and I just refuse too I don’t believe I can’t have a beautiful ceremony on a small budget…and I feel bad that he isn’t wowed by out venue… we already aren’t getting a honey moon because we can’t really afford it but my mom wanted to get us an inexpensive honeymoon so I am considering just finding something in the states like Florida for her and my dad to gift us with….It seems lame to spend thousands of dollars just to go home exhausted and go to work on Monday morning….
There are times when he has been supportive like when I was having a hard time at work and when my dad was diagnosed w/ cancer. So I know support isn’t the issue but I guess I’m just really learning a big lesson on being married with this wedding planning …..There will be times when I will have to be comfortable and firm with decisions even if Fiance is not enthusiastically cheering my decision…. Anyone can relate?