- 5 years ago
Okay bees, here’s a touchy topic for me.
Here is the situation. My SO and I have been together for 6 years and our finances have always been strange. Even though we lived together, we’d split everything 50/50 all the time. Bills, food, pet supplies. I sort of felt like we were roommates. One of us would go shopping and then bring home the receipt and ask the other for half the bill. I got tired of feeling like it was 50/50 all the time so I started eating some of the cost because I figured we were in a committed relationship and it wouldn’t kill me to buy groceries and not ask for half. But that’s exactly what happened. I was eating the cost and he was as till asking for half when he went shopping.
(another example is we were renting a house from his parents and it had an apartment above the garage and we rented that space to his friend. He took the money and we didn’t split it it. even though we both had to deal with higher electric/water an putting up with someone else living there. His justification was it was HIS parents house, so he should get the money.(his parents didnt want the money from renting it))
So fastforward to current day and I’m in college an he has a good paying job. We’ve stopped splitting things TOTALLY 50/50 but bills are close. We buy groceries without splitting all the time. We worked out a deal where we’re paying different bills each month and one of the bills I pay (Internet) just went up 35 dollars. I told him I could no longer afford it alone and he gets irritated and says I spend my money of stupid things and he doesn’t believe I can’t afford it. He’s referring to the fabric I purchased the oother day for a sewing project. . . To be more accurate, I CAN afford it, I just don’t want to be swallowing a 65.00 bill every month when he makes well over 5 time what I make.
So it’s not that I expect him to support me, I suppose I just wish that he could see that I make WAY less then he does. I feel as if he should support the fact that I’m in school and want to help me because I’m the person he wants to spend his life with. I feel as if that’s what couples do for each other.
So bees, I wrong? Has anyone had a similar experience? When did you and your SO starting helping each other in these ways?
edit: fixed crazy autocorrect words. Typing from my phone!