Finance's wedding gift to me

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

FutureMrsB105 :  Yeah I understand both sides. I know that hurts, but I’m sure it has no bearing on how much he loves you or how well he knows you. It’s like other bees said, some people are better at remembering dates than others. Once everything settles, ask him if he can get it fixed. 

Post # 17
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

This would really annoy me.  My Darling Husband is horrible with dates but he would at least double check before ordering something like this.  In any event, you’ll get a corrected one and what are you gonna do.  This isn’t a deal breaker but like… come on.

Post # 18
Member
3874 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Aw, I kinda feel bad for him! It must have been one of those times where your brain just gets a glitch. I do think you’ll laugh about it someday. I don’t think it reflects on his love for you or anything, my dad isn’t 100% on how old his children even are, let alone our birthdays lol! My sister and husband’s birthdays are 3 days apart and I sometimes have to think for a second to make sure I have them the right way around. 

Post # 19
Member
34 posts
Newbee

Absolutely do not be mad! What a sweet gift and so thoughtful. It was an honest mistake. Replace it with the correct moon and wear it with pride 🙂

Post # 20
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

I can definitely understand the sting. If this were me i’d have expected some double checking. 

However, you’re right, you will laugh about this. Probably every year when you jokingly demand two birthdays because he thinks it’s the 21st!-

My husband never ever remembers when mine is if he’s asked. (Although he remembers to celebrate on the right day because I give him reminders on the run up!)

I’m 35 and my dad never remembers either!

Post # 21
Member
6272 posts
Bee Keeper

This might make you feel a bit better…

i like to think I’m a good wife and good with gift giving and romantic gestures BUT at the county hall where we had to give info in our partners we plan to marry (I think as an attempt to stop forced or immigration weddings), I gave the wrong date of birth for my husband. Right month wrong day. The official glared at me and gave me another go but I just couldn’t think what it was! So embarrassing. He of course got everything right about me. 

So if your guy is mostly awesome and not a careless emotional retard then just give him a hug (he’s probably gutted he messed up his special gift), get it changed and laugh about it in the future. 

If it’s symbolic of a general disregard for you feelings or ability to get things right then you have a different issue. 

Which one is it? 

Post # 22
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

FutureMrsB105 :  this is one of those “making memories” situations. It will be a story you tell about how your (loveable dunce of a) husband of 50 years never forgets your birth date. Seriously, getting you a gift that relies entirely on your birth dates to work, nothing else, and he gets it wrong. It’s pretty hilarious.

Post # 23
Member
2064 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I would assume that if he’s got right it over the last 6 years, then it was probably just a brain glitch.

I did something similar with my husband this year, I know when his birthday is but it falls in a group of birthdays and for some reason this year I couldn’t attach his birthday to a day. So I knew it was the 19th but I couldn’t attach the 19th to a Sunday so I didn’t wish him a happy birthday until my mum wished him a happy birthday. I thought his birthday was a few days later. Brain glitch.

You’re allowed to be upset but I don’t think it’s something to dwell on for too long. He probably feels really bad, ask him to exchange the charm and one day it’ll be funny story.

Post # 24
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

That’s a really sweet gift and the upshot of this is that he will never forget your birthday again. 

In the moment, just sympathy. My fiancé is terrible with dates and until last week I didn’t know that he remembered when my birthday is. I have a memory like a steel trap and it’s important to me to remember these things, or write them down. Him… not so much. So since it’s important to me to remember his birthday I felt unimportant to him when I had to remind him of mine. I know intellectually it’s not true, but it definitely stings anyway. 

Post # 25
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee

I understand how you feel. My IL’s bought a beautiful locket for Dear Daughter when she was born…. and it was engraved with the wrong bday. We laugh about it now; the intentions were good and that s really all that matters.

In our case, the engraving wasn’t fixable, so it just has to remain that way. 

Post # 26
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

glitterysala :  I am really bad with dates, even years. It is just not how I remember things, I have different triggers.

Post # 27
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Awe poor guy!  I wouldn’t be too upset.  If it makes you feel any better when my fiancé proposed he said my full name, expect he said Marie as my middle name and it’s Michelle 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ I was like wait what? MICHELLE!  He’s like omg I’m so nervous, I knew that!!  We laugh about it all the time and it did not hurt my feelings one bit, it was actually really funny, lol. 

Post # 28
Member
7418 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve been with my fi for 9 years now and I still get mixed up on his birthday. It doesn’t mean I love him any less. It just means I suck at keeping track of dates.

Post # 29
Member
3870 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

FutureMrsB105 :  Have him return it with the correct date. Has he forgotten your birthday in the past or does he need to be reminded in the week(s) leading up to it? If not, I would just chalk it up to a serious brain fart and have him re-order the correct bracelet and then move on. 

Post # 30
Member
4608 posts
Honey bee

This is definitely not a gender thing and it’s not something to let yourself get worked up over.  He knows he made the error and you can get it replaced.  Be disappointed for a hot minute and then move past it.  Some people have a good head for dates (or some dates) and some don’t.  My mom can remember the date of every single pet she adopted (and we’re talking several DOZEN over the years) and the date they passed away.  She remembers birthdates of people she hasn’t been in touch with for DECADES.  She remembers dates people passed away and their funeral dates.  Dates of graduations, etc.

Last week I texted a very good friend I have known for 17 years “Happy Birthday-ish? Maybe?  Am I close?” because while I knew her birthday was in the first half of May but can never remember the exact date (I was three days off).  Did the same thing to another good friend I’ve known for 12 years (I was two weeks off – I’m not sure why I always think her birthday is April 8th and it’s April 21st).  I don’t remember the date my dad died, but I remember a big  world event that happened near it and google the date for that.  I remember feelings and the events, but just not the dates.  I don’t mean anything by it – it’s just not how my brain works.  Meanwhile, there are some dates I can remember, and for some reason they are for things I no longer care about – like the birthday of the guy who had the locker next to me in high school – haven’t seen him in years. 

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