Finances- when do you consult each other?

posted 1 year ago in Finances
Post # 2
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Right now we have an agreement to discuss any expenditures @ $500+. We’re a more mature couple and we’ve been dealing with some major house renos over the past year or so, we wouldn’t get much accomplished with a lower threshold. 

Post # 3
9443 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We’ll consult each other on any purchase starting at around $100. We’re both really frugal though so it’s honestly usually one of us asking the other to talk us into buying whatever we’re looking at. 

Post # 4
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Our trigger limit for must discuss purchases is $50 (that excludes things like groceries and gas and other necessities). It also excludes the personal spending allowances we give ourselves. Our finances are joint in concept, although technically most of our bank accounts are still separate. $50 might seem low to some people, but we are both pretty frugal, and usually want a second opinion before spending that kind of money on things that aren’t daily essentials anyway, so it it’s not hard for us to make sure we consult each other.

Post # 5
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

We don’t have an official threshold, but our typical habit is to discuss anything over ~500$. Not really because we’re asking permission, but because a purchase that big is a bit of a big deal and generally we talk about big deal things with each other. Like, I wanted to get a treadmill since our gym has been closed for 3 months, so I talked about it with my husband and we researched the different brands and models and decided what the best treadmill for us to buy would be. I didn’t feel like I need his approval to buy a treadmill, but I value his input.

Post # 6
371 posts
Helper bee

We have a pretty clear budget for food, gas, household, fun money, etc. So we usually consult each other when we want to purchase something outside of the budget. For example, if my fiancé wants to purchase a piece of camping gear or if I want to start a fitness app subscription. I’d say if I had to put a dollar limit on it we probably consult each other for things at $50 and above. We’re a young professional couple trying to save for a house and boost our emergency fund, so we keep a “tight ship” in order to make meaningful moves toward our financial goals. 

Post # 7
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

SO and I are pretty frugal (like many of the Bees above). It really depends on the thing and the setting. Like books/music under $10 isn’t really discussed, but we’d give each other just a heads up later if we grabbed a $5 coffee with friends. Anything that’s needed or something like home decor, clothes etc. we would gve a heads up first. There might be a discussion if it was creeping up to $40. But it’s not so much a permission thing as it is me thinking I like this shirt, but should I spend $20 on it? And usually the other person is encouraging or says oh wait, didn’t you say you really needed new shoes because your old ones are worn, so let’s get those first? It sounds tedious/intrusive as I write it out, but in reality it’s fluid and plus we discuss literally everything so this is no different. We like it 🙂 With grocery shopping, there’s no discussion – we just go off the colective list.

Post # 8
3089 posts
Sugar bee

Seperate finances, but we do have a price point at which we’ll usually discuss with the other before spending money.  Outside of emergency situations (ie, urgent plumbing repairs), we usually will at least give the other an FYI for any purchases over $1000 or so, or before purchasing anything physically large like a piece of furniture or somethinfg that would take up noticeable physical space in the house.  

Post # 9
4520 posts
Honey bee

We don’t have rules on how much you can spend.  We have rules about having no credit card debt, maxing out retirement contributions, and making sure we continue to put money in savings and extra on the mortgage.  After that it’s a common sense thing.

Post # 10
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We have pretty aggressive savings and joint accounts, and leave our “personal” money for pretty much free reign. I’d say we consult each other for anything over $500. Doesnt happen often as we are pretty cheap overall lol. 

Post # 11
3716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

We don’t have a budget per se, and we don’t have an official threshold for when we need to consult.  Just if it seems like an extravagant purchase that isn’t actually necessary (so like $100-150+?).

Post # 13
790 posts
Busy bee

Anything that would require taking on debt we discuss. Since we have separate finances we dont have a dollar limit. But we do have mutually agreed on financial goals so big purchases are discussed related to whether they help/hinder those goals. Neither of us are big spenders so its not really a big issue for us.

Post # 14
2880 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@peanutbutterandjam:  Our joint account is used for bills, savings, trips, household needs, and other joint things. We also each have personal spending money that we get each pay period. So, if I want something big for myself, I just save my personal spending money for a while to be able to afford it, and the same goes for him. That way, we still have independence to buy things we want for ourselves, we don’t have to consult each other over it, even if it’s a large purchase (for example I recently bought a new iPhone and he bought expensive cowboy boots), and we don’t have to feel guilty about our purchases and there’s no risk of resentment if one partner is more frugal than the other. This also allows us to buy gifts for each other without taking from the mutual pot, and keeps the surprise there, and it makes the gift feel more like it came from me, because I saved up my personal spending money to be able to get it for him. 

Post # 15
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2022

Spending excess of 2k from our only separate account to consult with one another just as fyi 

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