(Closed) Finances…how to start off when first married?

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I guess if I had in savings what Darling Husband owed in loans, we’d pay of the loans and start together fresh.

It sounds like it wouldn’t take too long for your two combined to build the savings back up and then you could both start your marriage totally debt free (as a couple) and both contributing to whatever your bills, house savings, etc, you’re wanting.

I know not everyone takes that approach, but Darling Husband and I really did just combine all of our finances/money like that when we got married. Whatever we had was now ours and whatever was coming was going into the same pot. =)

Post # 5
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Tigrrlily04: Tell that man that pride is a terrible thing and it’s you and him in this… together… not just him. Your whole role is to be there in the ways that you can and right now a way that you can is to get rid of that debt!

We have a no pride & no wallowing policy in our house. lol

Post # 7
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My suggestion is that your Fiance spend the majority of his income paying off his loans and contribute a small percentage to the household budget (in perhapas a joint account or either him giving money to you).  With this plan he can pay off his loans quickly and as a man (male pride) he can contribute.  You will be paying the majority of the expenses at first but as he pays of his loans he will obviously contribute much more to the household.  I don’t recommend you spending your savings to pay off his loans.  The two of you may need that savings for unforseen future “rainy days”.  

Post # 8
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am a strong beleiver in that after marriage, all money is “ours”, not “yours” and “mine”. 

You have to decide what’s best for loan payoffs. Don’t spend all your savings, you need part of it as a rainy day fund. But it may or may not be feasible to spend part of your savings on loan pay offs. (20% interest rate? Pay it off with savings. 2% interest rate? Not as urgent to get it paid off.)

Post # 9
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

I agree with the PPs… Have a serious talk about how your money is “our money” and his debt, even though not legally, is “our debt.” You marry him and his debt! Depending his credit score and all that stuff, his debt could prohibit you from buying a house and other things. We dream of being able to pay off our student loans, and if we were in your situation, neither of us would have a problem with using our money to make us debt free.

We’ve had a joint account since before we were engaged, though, so we’ve had our money for a while.

If he really won’t allow you to use “our money” to pay it off, then I second that his income should go toward paying it off, if your salary can support both of you.

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@runsyellowlites: Nicely tell him that his pride is going to cost him and you a ton in interest. Pay it off now so that you guys can start putting your extra money into savings instead of into a huge bill, with what I can just imagine is high with interest. 

Hope it works out.

Post # 11
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

@runsyellowlites: I agree with this. Pride or no pride you guys are entering a marriage. You are a team, and you should do everything you can to set up your life together the best you can! No interest would be a great thing. Then you can both start contributing to the savings you have left and wedding and everything else. I know sometimes its hard to get over yourself, (especially for men LOL) But in this case it seems like a no brainer (at least to me) Its better to pay that now and not thousands more later! You have to start making financially smart decisions to start your life not let your ego get in the way! (him not you) Good luck!!

Post # 12
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

I guess I’m on the other side of this fence, ladies.

In our case, I’m the one with the debt and Fiance is debt-free. We already live together, though, and keep our finances separate and plan to continue to do so after the wedding. Having a joint household account is fine, but I strongly believe that if both people work, both people need to have their own funds to do with as they please and both contribute, whether 50/50 or on a sliding scale based on income levels, to the household expenses.

Post # 14
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

First, kudos to you for having such a good, hefty savings account!  Your FI/Hubby to be is obviously a smart guy.  Right now interest being paid on savings is stupid low.  I understand loan interest rates are also low but I guaratee you are paying more in interest than what you are earning in savings.  You two are giving away your money.  You are a team preparing for whatever the future brings you.  Tell him to drop the pride, pay off the loans, and then you two can begin aggressively saving to build back up that savings account.  It makes zero sense to me to struggle for 5 years to pay down debt while you support the rest of the household and/or are the only one to save.  That should bother his pride too.  The only thing he is giving up by slowing paying off his debit is hundreds or possibly thousands of dollars that otherwise could be put into your savings account rather than paid to someone else.

And for what it’s worth, Darling Husband and I are late 30’s, both have good jobs and wanted to combine finances but still have our own money to play with.  We have set up a family checking account and each have funds deposited into there each paycheck.  This pays all the bills and other household expenses.  We each keep a set amount of spending money per paycheck and the rest goes into savings.  It’s worked well so far – but granted it’s only been a few months!  haha. 

Post # 15
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well Fiance had a lot of loans and I had paid off cars and a house…. What’s mine is his. Everything goes into one checking account now and I pay down his student loans and my mortgage at the same time. I think everything should be equal. Who knows there might be a time when you can’t work and need to be supported too.

Post # 16
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would suggest you take a financial planning class together to understand money and each other’s approaches to it. Fiance and I took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace course and it has really helped our relationship and money management skills.

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