(Closed) Financial Bees – Need Your Advise! Am I being territorial?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
1546 posts
Bumble bee

I understand. If it didnt matter who was custodian then Father-In-Law wouldnt mind changing it to be you, however im willing to bet that suggesting that to him is a bad idea which shows it does matter. I think its absolutely great for them to have their own trust for her but I would set up another trust for money from you and others with yourself as custodian. It just simplifies things when it comes to releasing money and who has to sign off etc.. Its also fairer to others contributing as many probably wouldnt want their money put into a trust controlled by someone they dont know and would prefer you had control. I think if Father-In-Law is financially savvy then he should be absolutely fine with this and not offended (he doesnt even need to know if you dont want him to).

Post # 3
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

What’s an “LO”?

Post # 5
1248 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
BeachIU05 :  My sister went through something similar when her oldest was born.  Her ILs set up an account for their granddaughter with them being the custodians.  When my niece was baptized, my sister and husband had several checks for her and decided (together) to open a different account that they had access to at the bank that they already banked at.  They didn’t even tell the ILs about the new account; quite frankly, it’s none of their business.

I don’t think you’re being territorial at all in wanting control over an account for your daughter.  This account that your ILs set up really has nothing to do with you, if that makes sense.  It’s an account they set up for her to be managed by them.  I do not think they would expect you to put any additional money into that account; if they did then it would be controlling on their part.

But I’m not a financial advisor or anything close.  If you’ve already had some boundary issues then I think it’s best to have an account that only you guys control.  Your husband doesn’t have to say anything to his parents about it.

Post # 7
47430 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just open another account and not tell them. They have no need to know.

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