Post # 1
Hi Bees. I have posted in this forum a lot about the ring I initially chose, then changed my mind about, etc. We have been saving for quite a few months already. Nothing big, just here and there so it did not interefere with our lifestyle. We were in no rush for anything. Now we have been hit a big financial blow. Our savings must be diverted for the time being! This of course is terrible for our engagement situation. I want to make clear that if we were only saving for an engagement, we would be fine. But since we of course are in the mind set of saving for a wedding too, it just won’t happen anytime soon.
I had an idea and Future-Mr.-Mermaidlagoon is very unsure about it. I’d like to run it by the Bees. We would be fine if we just went ahead to save and plan for the wedding in the next year or two despite this financial setback. My idea was to get “dummy rings”. We would shop simply for cheap costume jewelry, less than $100, for my engagement ring and our wedding bands. We would use these throughout our entire engagement and for the first few months of our marriage until we saved up enough to get proper rings in our first year of marriage. Even the thought of maybe doing it for our first anniversary sounds a bit romantic.
In my head, this works. We can save and have our wedding as planned in two years but we can always upgrade to much better rings later, or even in the meantime depending on how our financial situation goes. I know if random people or even coworkers don’t like it, I won’t care. My best friends honestly will be more scandalized that I plan on buying more epxensive jewelry in the future than the fact that I got cheap dummy rings. My family won’t care. His family might care a bit but I think they will understand as they are good people. I think Fiance cares about appearances a little more than I do. I don’t know who he is trying to impress as no one we know will really care. I just want to marry the man!
Any thoughts? Has anyone done this?
Post # 2
Alot of people do this. Go for it.
ETA: I think if it were me, though, I’d want to get our forever wedding bands before the wedding and get married with those (for sentimental reasons).
Post # 3
I see nothing wrong with this as long as your SO is cool with it. As a matter of fact lots of people do it!
While I don’t have “dummy rings” per say my wedding set was under $500. We could have spent more but the ring I liked the best wasn’t expensive and my band was vintage so much lower priced. Its not about the price tag, it’s about the meaning behind it.
Post # 4
A ring doesn’t make you engaged or not. And an expensive “real” ring definitely doesn’t make you more or less engaged. So if you and your Fiance are fine with a cheaper ring and that’s what works financially, then go for it.
Post # 5
To make this idea more appealing to him, maybe you could consider buying real gold or platinum rings instead of costume jewelry, at least for the wedding bands. They’d be traditional and real, which might feel better than wearing fake jewelry for months and months. It might cost a bit more than $100.00, but not by much.
A promise ring might do nicely as a stand-in engagement ring. There are some very pretty, affordable ones that he might find more acceptable than costume jewlery.
Post # 6
I would absolutely purchase a cheaper ring with an upgrade in mind (or not if you find a forever ring you love in that budget) if it meant we could still getting married on our original timeline.
Post # 7
I would just want to get the show on the road too! A dreamy ring can come later. I would however get high quality but modest rings over cheap costume jewelry though because I bet you will find yourself attached and sentimental about the “starter” set. Real gold wedding bands can be found on the cheap second hand, and there are beautiful vintage gemstone pieces for not a lot of money at all. eBay, diamondbistro.com, local pawn shop would all have options. If you get cheap costume jewelry it might turn your finger green or not even last the three years you need it to.
Post # 8
Take care, sorry to hear about the financial set back. When we got engaged, I didn’t have a ring, and only just received it a day before we were married. While I definitely understand the desire to have a ring, it doesn’t matter what you wear (or don’t in my instance).
Post # 9
I think it’s a great idea
Post # 10
mermaidlagoon : look on Ebay. My wedding band was under $100 and is solid 10k gold from Ebay. The seller I ordered from makes them in your requested size and the price is less for smaller sizes, which was a bonus for me,
Post # 11
Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement! I feel more confident making a case for this to FI and will check out all the sites you recommended.
Post # 12
Casting another vote for real gold weddng bands (I got my plain wedding band from eweddingbands.com- it was under $100)- get a pretty stand in e-ring for the time being and save for your wedding. Then go for your dream ering at some special anniversary down the line.
Post # 13
TwilightRarity : Nice, I’m digging that site!
nykkee : That’s great since I’m about a size 5 ring.
Post # 14
I think it’s fine to go with some nice (say, sterling silver and CZ?) dummy rings until your life situation allows. My only thought is honestly whether or not it would bother you that all of your wedding photos will feature that set of rings and not your “real” set?
I suppose it sounds shallow to say that, but that would be the only niggling concern at the back of my mind if I was you. My brother in law proposed to my sister with a gold ring that had a CZ in it because he couldn’t afford the diamond, and they upgraded a couple of years later. It was fine.
Just do it at your own pace. If you’re okay with it then it’s all good. Maybe your man is feeling a little unsure because he feels it’s a reflection on him personally (because traditionally it’s the man who saves for the ring) and he feels inadequate or something?
Or I might be wrong. In my situation, buying my ring was a mutual decision and we did it together and agreed to use our shared funds to buy it.
As long as you’re okay with it, why not?
Post # 15
If you and your Fiance want to do it, I think it’s completely fine. Who cares what strangers think?