(Closed) Financial security vs mental sanity

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 17
3586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I plan on quitting my job prior to my wedding. I’m just miserable there. A few months back I called out three days in a row (I had the time available to take off) because I didn’t have it in me to walk through the door. I realized then that I have to get out. I’ve had jobs I didn’t like before, but I’ve never had a job where the mere act of driving to work could make my stomach turn. I don’t want to start my marriage with that level of stress and misery hanging over me. It doesn’t benefit me and it will negatively impact what should be a happy start.

Post # 19
11338 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
kcwilson11 :  

OMG.  Your quality of life is practically non existent.

I give you major props for gutting it out this long.  I’ve lived in SoCal and a man only too familiar with the wretchedness of sitting in bumper to bumper traffic.

Definitely, I would be job hunting.  It sounds like your Fiance is totally supportive.  Good luck, Bee!



Post # 20
234 posts
Helper bee

They’ve done studies on this. Long commutes alone are the #1 reason people are miserable at their jobs. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to quit and find another, even if the pay is lower. You’d be saving so much in gas alone.

Post # 21
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


By the way, size of paycheck matters far less than money management and investment strategies.

Post # 22
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If you and your soon to be Darling Husband can afford to take the pay cut, go for it. It sounds like the commute is wearing you down and impacting on other things you’d like to do. 

I would only recommend staying if you couldn’t take the financial hit, because then you’d have gotten rid of the commuting stress but incurred financial stress which is much worse.

Post # 23
755 posts
Busy bee

I took a 70% pay cut when I started at my current job. 

But I don’t take any work home with me anymore whereas previously I was working evenings and weekends (as in unpaid overtime to get everything done) consistently.

I’m still in the same field but MUCH less stress and it’s honestly worked out really well.

I actually have a life now.


Post # 24
1009 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
kcwilson11 :  For sure, sanity. 

I have a commute that’s silimar to yours except it’s public transit (4 hours total per day) and my SO and I are buying a house close to my job in order to make our lives easier. 

You have to do what you need to in order to make your life sustainable. 

Post # 25
32 posts

I don’t blame you and you are lucky your fiance is so supportive. I commuted 4-5 hrs per day for the past six months. It was hell. I wanted to die literally somedays. I finally got a better job with less traffic. But I am still commuting the same distance, 100miles per day in around 3 hours total. My schedule is worse too, noc shift, weekends, holidays, zero vacation for a year. The place I work for will also be closed by the state government due to budget cuts within 2 years and people laid off starting July.

Bottom line is I will be going back to school to find better quality of life closer to home. I wish my boyfriend would care more and want to take care of me like that. I can never be the caring girlfriend I want to be or enjoy my brand new home because I am always away from home and exhausted for the few hours I am there. I am on my feet all day and my body aches and throbs when I come home.

Unless you go through it too absolutely no one understands or cares about what I’m going through.

When you’re 90 you’re not going to look back and say I wish I worked more, I wish I made more money, I wish I spent more time away from my family.

Post # 26
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Definitely sanity over income. I, one month ago, quit my job. I have been working and independent since i was 18 (I’m 32 now) and it is taking some time to get used to being supported by my Fiance, but it is way better than when I had to go to work.

Similiar to you, I had a long commute and when I got home, I just wanted to sit in front of the tv and not do a thing. As a result of this unhappy and sedentry lifestyle, I became a bit depressed and anxious.

 I was holding on for as long as I could until after the wedding (April) but I really couldn’t and I do not regret it one bit. Where I live, it takes some time to get a new job, but I cannot complain that I am happy for the break from working. I am looking around and applying for new jobs, but in the time being, I am relaxing. 

Post # 27
228 posts
Helper bee

Sanity first always. I have a personal  rule no more than 30 – 40 mins commute to work. 

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