(Closed) financial suicide???

posted 6 years ago in Career
  • poll: should i stay or should i go?
    it's financial suicide! stay in the bay! : (11 votes)
    46 %
    money can't buy happiness, move back to sunny so. cal!! : (13 votes)
    54 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I would have my Darling Husband start looking for work back in So. Cal BEFORE I committed to moving.

    I’d probably stay in the bay area until he was able to find a job back there, and then move once he’s got all his ducks in a row.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1466 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @rachelmichelle: +1

    I think this is a good optin between giving up on your happiness and hurting yourselves financially.

    Post # 5
    Hostess
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I agree I would wait until he has something before moving.  With the way things are, it’s hard to just move when you don’t have anything in stock.

    Post # 6
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I love so-cal. So, I’d leave..fast. No looking back. You’ll make it work and more importantly, you’ll be HAPPY and that’s worth more than being able to buy more STUFF! 

    Post # 7
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I agree… make sure you BOTH will have jobs back in so. cal. before you move, but I definitely don’t think it’s worth being unhappy to make extra money.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @bijou214:  The bay is certainly harder to make friends than SoCal (I’m a Cali girl living in Seattle currently), but you have only been there for a few months.  And you say you make a great deal more, but SanFran is super expensive to live.  Are you living in the east bay and commuting over? I agree with @rachelmichelle: to have him start looking because it certainly doesn’t hurt to look, but don’t move immediately. In the meantime, give the city a chance, it is beautiful, crazy, and has some awesome stuff to do/see. Tell him to take you to Napa or Point Reyes next weekend, sign up with meetup.com for something that interests you.

    ETA – I miss SoCal ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME, so I understand what you’re going through, beleive me.

    Post # 9
    Member
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Man, I’m just wanting to find a job anywhere in California. Can I take the one you aren’t using? 

    Ok, in all seriousness…I think it takes about a year to fit into a new place, and two years for it to really feel like home and settled. I’d give yourself a little bit of a break, and find some things outside of work to meet new people and try to get to know your coworkers a little better. I went to college in SoCal and promised that I would never leave. Now that I’ve lived outside of the country, the bay area seems more my speed. I don’t know, maybe it will grow on you? 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Just another thing to think about…money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure helps prevent a lot of stress and conflict in marriage. Even though you may be happier at work and have friends, you or your Darling Husband could wind up being stressed and unhappy over money.

    Just a question…have you put yourself out there to give the Bay area a chance? In your post you only mention your husband’s friends. Have you tried to make friends of your own? Have you kept an open mind about the new job? Because your post kind of reads like you think there is no way you can be happy in the Bay area, which if you go into it with an attitude like that, you won’t be. What is so different about the new job that you dislike? Is it just that you haven’t made friends with co-workers yet? Is your boss a jerk?

    My point is, it’s only been three months. I would give it more time and be open to actually building a new life in the Bay area rather than comparing everything to So. Cal. In the meantime, sure have him start looking for work down there, but I would NEVER willingly give up either my or my DH’s salary because I hadn’t adjusted to a new city after 3 months. Wait until he has an offer, then you can think about moving back.

    Post # 11
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @ChemistryBride:  I like your points; however, I think one thing to also consider is that he left under the pre-condition that it would be temporary. Resentment is a real risk in this situation and might be an even bigger source of contention than the loss of income. 

     

    @bijou214:  After factoring in cost of living how much are you really gaining by being in the bay area? Is it significant enough to matter? Would you want to live their long term–good job or bad? Do you have other ties to so cal that would eventually lead you back therE?

    Post # 12
    Member
    5956 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I get that job satisfaction is important, but don’t cut yourselves off at the knees before the race even starts.  Happiness comes from within, not from a city or a job or a group of friends.  Stay put and branch out, if this is where your making hay, better stay and make it while the sun is shining!

    Post # 13
    Member
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Money is not everything, move back to your friends and happiness. Do it! If you are happier, you will be most able to find Darling Husband a job rather than being sad all the time,

    Post # 15
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @bijou214:  YAY! That’s great. I think you should really put the pressure on. Like a deadline. Get Fiance on board and inform your old bosses that you’d like to return. With a bit of pressure I think he’ll take the hunt more seriously. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I would just do whatever I wanted. Money is just money and your financial situation can seriously turn around in a matter of weeks. Keep your costs low and live where you want to.

    The topic ‘financial suicide???’ is closed to new replies.

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