(Closed) Financially dumbfounded.

posted 10 years ago in Money
Post # 17
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Fiance makes much more money than I do (seriosuly, right now I’m making like 5k a year, i barely work..but thats a different story).. starting next year when I do get a real job, I will be making approk 90k less than Fiance. We absolutely wont split things 50/50 but thats not the kind of relationship we have. We’ve never done anything 50/50, we always put our money together and consider if OUR money.. we’re a family and thats just how money works best for us.

 

Note: because of this, we also discuss EVERY purchase though, when you decide the money becomes OUR money, every purchase is OUR purchase.. i suppose you lose a certain amount of spending freedom but it doesn’t bother me, his opinion is important to me in financial matters

Post # 18
Member
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@Meowkers:

ditto.

We’ve been together for 7years and my partner makes much more money than me.. about 40K more than me annually.

We see it as ‘our’ money and don’t ‘split’ bills & expenses; we split tasks and responsibilities, but money is a different story as we combined our finances over 4 years ago.

 

Post # 19
Member
4136 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

have you considered how you want to manage your money once you’re married? if you plan on having one shared account, this will become a moot point.

Post # 20
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We actually just finalized our plans for splitting finances. We are having ALL our money direct deposited into a joint account and then things will be redirected from there. It sounds complicated but it makes sense for us. We will have that main account, our own personal acocunts, and two saving accounts. So each month a certain amount will be transferred to our personal accounts. This is what we are referring to as our “allowance” and it is an amount that should cover fun expenses but also not too much to keep us from saving for more important fun things. The other two savings accounts are for short and long term savings. The short term right now is for wedding/honeymoon stuff. After that we will use it as a vacation fund or for big purchases such as a new tv or other nonessentials. The long term savings will be for new cars, work on the house, and emergency funds. I said in the beginning everything will go into one account to begin with. That account will be where all the bills are paid from (car payments, insurance, mortgage, food, gas, etc.)

I have a powerpoint at home that clarifies this, I will try to post it later.

Post # 21
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Oh and I forgot to mention, the whole point of this post… I make more than my Fiance, about the same difference as your Fiance. I definitely do not feel like he is living off me. I also bought the house on my own (we had been dating about a month at the time). I will be taking on a lot of his debt because we looked at interest rates and are paying off higher interest first, which happens to be his credit cards. I didn’t like the idea of having mine and yours when doing finances because in my mind it makes things more complicated. I didn’t want to have one person “owing” the other for groceries or a night out, etc… I know it works for some people though so you just have to get a feel for your style!

Post # 22
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m currently earning about twice as much as DH. We don’t split things 50/50, but we don’t really calculate percentages either. When we go out, we take turns paying. When it comes to rent and bills, I do pay more but it’s not an exact science. We split rent 50/50 and each pay our own phone bills, but I pick up all the other bills. So far it’s worked out just fine.

Post # 23
Member
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Fiance makes more than double I make, and he wouldn’t expect me to pay 50/50.  He pays for the mortgage, most of our nights out, all our vacations.  I pay for our month utility bills, and contribute what I can to vacations.  We did however decide to split the wedding 50/50.  I think you should just figure out what works best for the both of you financially.

Post # 24
Member
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I make more than my SO so I contribute more towards household bills. We split the mortgage and groceries equally. Lately I’ve been pitching in more financially than normal as well because he’s hinted at needed some help (I think he’s tucking away money pretty aggressively for a ring).

Post # 25
Member
8735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Fiance has always made a fair bit more than me.

We originally split our apartment 60/40 because he wanted to move somewhere that I couldn’t afford to pay 1/2 (we split our first apartment 50/50 but he wanted an upgrade).

As my salary has gone up, we’ve moved to splitting the rent and parking 50/50 however he pays all cable & internet bills as well as picks up the majority of our dinners out. I pay for delivery food and groceries as well as our laundry service.

Post # 26
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hmm. Well, I work part time and Fiance makes about 10 times what I do. I help with groceries and household items at times but he pays the mortgage and other bills. I think this arrangement works out ok because I use the time when I’m not working to clean the house (which he would never do) and make him dinner every night.

As for your situation, 15k isn’t a HUGE difference, but I’m not certain 50/50 is entirely fair. I don’t think you should feel uncomfortable talking to him about it if you intend to get married.

Post # 27
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Before I was engaged, and before I had children, Fiance and I lived together in a house that he owns. He paid all the bills, and the mortgage. We both had jobs, but he made significantly more than me at the time. We took turns buying groceries, and I did all the cleaning and laundry.

Post # 28
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I, personally, don’t believe in 50/50 unless you make the same amount. If the rent is $1000 a month, and Person A takes home $3000 a month, and Person B takes home $500 a month, obviously they are going to struggle more and that’s not really equal.

If my SO had to split all our bills 50/50, he would be in the hole every month. Sure, one could argue if we weren’t together he would have to still pay his bills, but the fact is that together are expenses are more. We buy more food because there are more people. We use more gas because there are two people driving. We use more electricity because we have more stuff going, and so on…

I think it should be based on a percentage relative to how much each person makes, or all the money should go into one family pot and then each partner gets a set amount of “fun money” to spend every month.

But, everyone has their own idea on how to manage money and the most important thing is making sure it works for you and the one you love.

Post # 29
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think once you’re married your money is his money and his money is your money. It should all go into one pot. There will will times in life where you may become unemployed or one of you decide to stay home and take care of the children or go back to school, etc. and you will need to depend on one salary. I find it strange that some couples split everything 50/50 even after having kids. it’s a marriage..no you make more or I make more but let’s build our future together.

Post # 30
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with pp. I think split finances in a relationship only leads to drama. Plus it seems really impractical. Like, what happens if you stay at home for a year after you have kids? Is he “maintaining” you? Will he resent that? DH and I have separate accounts but only so we can still surprise each other and get little indulgences. We put about $25 in our personal accounts each week, the rest goes to the joint account. 

Post # 31
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I used to make 2X what DH makes and I definitely put a larger pot into the joint account. I felt that was fair. We each put about 50% of our take-home pay in. Now, we each get a certain amount deposited into our personal accounts each month as an ‘allowance’ if you will, but the rest is joint money. Funny, now DH says it’s “unfair” that he is putting more into the pile (we make the same, but army reserve pay gives him an extra $10,000 a year).

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