(Closed) Find out gender or wait?! Need help from other mommas!

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I won’t wait.  I’m just not patient like that.  My opinion is that it will be as much a surprise at 20 weeks as it would be at 40+ weeks.

A coworker of mine waited with her first, but not with her second.  She said she found it so much easier to bond with the second child than with the first.  With the first, she had a “hunch” that it was going to be a boy.  It was a girl.  It took her a while to wrap her head around the fact that she had a daughter instead of a son.

Post # 4
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

We were both all about waiting, but slowly and steadily we both “caved” and decided to find out at the 20 week anatomy scan! I truly loved the idea of being surprised during delivery, but by month 3 and 4 decided that perhaps it would be great for planning if we found out. By weeks 18 and 19 we knew we were going to find out. 🙂 We are so glad we did find out! Really, you can’t go wrong either way, though. 🙂

Post # 6
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

We chose to find out as this is our first baby and I felt it would help me be more prepared plus the bonding aspect of it. I think if I had a child of each sex I would be more willing to wait it out and be surprised at delivery.

Post # 7
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We didn’t find out with our first, but mainly because the ultrasound tech couldn’t tell.  I thought for sure I was having a boy and she turned out to be a girl.

With the others, I found out so I could plan easier – would I need to get baby clothes of the opposite sex, would we need to set up another bedroom, etc.

It was awesome to be surprised, and it was no less exciting to know the sex beforehand.

Post # 9
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t want to know- and that really surprises me.  I’m very type-A, plan ahead, always prepared type of person. 

Maybe it’s just me, and maybe it’s wierd, but during my whopping 10 and a half weeks of pregnancy, I’ve been very, I dunno… zen? about the whole thing.  I’m a marathon runner so listening to my body is not something I’ve ever done.  But now, I do what I can when I feel up to it, and if that means skipping my 15 mile run then so be it.  I’ve been very easy on myself lately, which again, is totally uncharacteristic.

So, I’m ok waiting to find out.  Besides (here comes the analytical side of me…) if we have another child later and all of our big ticket items are gender neutral, we won’t have to go buy more stuff if the second one is a different gender than the first.

My sister said she’ll buy an outfit for each gender and I can return the one I don’t need.  Others have said it’s fine to have a bunch of gender neutral clothes since all they are going to do is poop on them!  I don’t need a fancy gown or overalls when they’re 2 days old, ya know! 

Post # 10
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I always thought I’d want to find out but now that we’re closer to TTC, I don’t think I do. I had a few friends who waited to find out and it really worked well for them. At baby showers, everything they got was extremely neutral…which is awesome if you plan to have more than two kids. Plus, they got a lot more of the practical stuff because no one went crazy buying tutus or mini football jerseys. Instead they got diaper pails and boppies and umbrella strollers. I like the idea of looking into the baby’s eyes before deciding on a name. Who knows, I might totally change my mind when the time comes. Or maybe we’ll find out but we won’t tell anyone else. But that’s my thought process now, at least.

Post # 11
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We had planned on waiting, but I was feeling very detached from the baby.  Plus if we were having a girl, I needed time to prepare myself (I very much wanted a boy).  After we found out that baby is a boy, I felt more at ease and am feeling much better about everything.  I feel like the baby has an identity now and it’s just “baby”.  

Post # 13
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Here is my two cents. I’m glad we found out, for some reason until the scan we thought we were having a boy, and were shocked we were wrong. We are happy either way, but I think early on we convinced ourselves it was a boy and if we waited until delivery I think we would have  been disappointed in a sense. I agree with getting everything gender neutral, and for the most part everything we got, minus clothes is. 

My SIL tried to find out and not tell anyone, but once you start identifying with a gender it is very difficult to not say it by accident… for example “he was kiking me all night” normal convo for you and your husband but would result in a lot of slips. Just my experience though!

Post # 14
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We will find out.  I want to have a head start on decorating a nursery (I’m not a fan of gender neutral) and choosing a name.  For bonding purposes, I want to be able to call the baby “him” or “her” instead of “it”.  If there is any gender disappointment, I want to have time to deal with it and move past it in plenty of time for the baby to arrive.  And I think the surprise will be just as much of a fun surprise at 18-20 weeks.

Post # 15
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Neither me or my Darling Husband want to find out in advance. I dont know why its just important for us to find out at the time. I am pretty superstitious so I would not be buying gender specific clothes etc before the baby arrived in anycase. 

Good luck! 

Post # 16
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We didn’t find out and didn’t regret it! We were impatient to know by the end, but having Darling Husband jubilantly announce that we had a son in the delivery room is a memory I cherish. AND we got a ton of useful stuff we needed at the shower.

We did get a lot of crap about it, though, from everyone except MIL/FIL, who thought it was fun. My stepmom was convinced we weren’t finding out just to annoy her, lol.

If we have a second LO, though, I think we might find out, and do a gender reveal party. Just to have both experiences.


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