(Closed) Finding an Officiant Vent (kind of long)

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think you’re overreatcting and I can kind of relate. FI’s father is an ordained minister so he seemed like the obvious choice for our officiant. Trouble is, while Fiance is Christian, I am Agnostic and we agreed to have a secular ceremony. While his father would likely do a not-so-religious ceremony, he will definitely want to throw a few bible quotes in there and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I don’t think I’d be too bothered by it but I’m more concerned with the quotes not fitting in with the general theme of the ceremony. Not to mention the fact that FI’s dad wants Fiance to figure out what he’s doing spiritually before marrying us, since Fiance hasn’t been attending church for the past few years. Though he didn’t say it out loud, I’m pretty sure he wants to know what direction I plan on going in as well. So the whole situation feels very awkward to me and I can’t decide if we should continue to talk to him about it (he would want to do a couple of counseling sessions with us) or just look into other options.

Post # 4
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Why don’t you get a reliable friend/relative to get ordained online and perform the ceremony that you created?  If they have to pay anything for the credentials have them performing your ceremony be their wedding gift to you.  

Post # 6
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I understand and would feel the same way. Ifyou are uncomfortable being direct with him regarding your religious standing, see if you can find someone else before your meeting with this man. That way, you can contact him beforehand and say something similar to – Thank you so much for taking a look over our ceremony, but we have found someone to officiate. We are so glad you will be there to share this day with us.

There are a lot of people who will perform any ceremony you want. BUT, they will be more than $80, which sounds like a great deal! Are you set against the friend still?

Post # 7
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Also, you could still do counseling with him (if you want), even if someone else officiates.

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