- 5 years ago
My now-ex-SO of 6 years left me in December… then I found out later that he was seeing somebody new… then I found out even LATER that he had been cheating on me with her (definitely emotionally, probably physically too but he won’t admit to that) for months before dumping me…. He is now living with her. I’ve posted about this a couple of times so I won’t go in to all the details here. This post isn’t about my ex really … except I just want to say that she is totally obsessed/infatuated with him, and for reasons I will never fully understand, he seems to really like her, and I know it’s really going to be a slap in the face to me if they get married, which they seem on track to do as of now. I was so sure it would be me walking down the aisle to him, and now, well, it’s not.
Anyway, I would say I’m definitely doing a lot better than I was, but one thing is still missing, and that is someone special. I know this board is full of women who are in committed relationships/marriages, so I could use some success stories of people who maybe went through similar things but ultimately ended up with really great men. All of my friends (literally, all of them) are in long-term, committed relationships or are married, and it’s such a high school mentality feeling like the only “loser” without a boyfriend. But I don’t want to get into a relationship just for the sake of being in one… I want a really good relationship. One that makes me really happy. I think once I start dating somebody new, this will be the only way to really, TRULY get over my ex completely. I’m worried some part of me will never be over him, which sucks because he clearly could not care less about me.
I’m wondering if I’ll be alone for the rest of my life… not a pleasant thought. I don’t know if there’s something I should be doing right now… putting myself “out there” more? I don’t even know the best way to go about meeting someone new. I know there’s online dating, but I have no experience with that… and the thought of having to go on a bunch of crappy dates to ultimately maybe find the right guy…. I don’t know. It seems exhausting. It’s sort of a catch 22 because I feel like I need to be proactive about this or else I’ll never really get over my ex, but at the same time, I don’t know if I’m fully ready to even date again? Because I feel like I’ll be making comparisons to my ex all the time (he’s the only serious relationship I’ve had) and that’s not fair to the other guy.
I don’t know. All I DO know is that I want to be a wife (obviously… look at my username ugh) and a mother someday, and I wonder if it will ever happen. I am 24 if that’s relevant at all, which I know isn’t old or anything, but I still wonder because it seems like everyone I know who’s my age is in a happy LTR.
SO… sorry this post is so rambly… but if you have success stories, please share! I know they will make me feel better.