Post # 1
As a young child I was raised in the Anglican Church. Then when my parents split, my mother started bringing us to the United Church where I was bapatised and confirmed as United.
I have recently started my journey to the Catholic Church. My Fiance and I has found the right church for us and we are considering becoming members of the parish. I am hoping to join the Catholic Church within the next year by enrolling in RCIA classes. My reasoning for this is that when we have children we will raise them as Catholic just like my FI’s whole family.
I have a few questions:
- We plan on getting married where my Fiance is orginally from and where I attended University. My future BIL and SIL didn’t have a church wedding. My Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law asked us if we’d consider getting married in the church and I have no issues with this request. The church is beautiful! Is there going to be a problem in doing our pre-cana course at another church? Will they marry us at a church that we are not members of in the Catholic Religion?
- Is my resoning for joining the Catholic Church good grounds?
- Does anyone know of any blogs, websites or books that talk about becoming Catholic?
Post # 3
I think that your first question is probably best answered by the church where you hope to marry. You might need to get a letter signed by your parish priest that allows you to marry elsewhere. Are your fiance’s parents members of the church? I would think that if they have a relationship with the church, you might have an easier time arranging your wedding. Also, does the church have a relationship with your university? If so, I think you should be fine.
The church should not have a problem with you doing your pre-cana elsewhere – at the end of your pre-cana, they will give you a certificate saying that you completed the course.
In my opinion, it is important to agree on how faith will play a role in your future family. It sounds like you and your fiance have discussed this, which is great! I think that you have a good reason to want to become Catholic – it is really nice to be able to share your faith with your spouse and in the future, your children.
Post # 4
I got married at a church in a parish of which I am not a member. Each church has different rules, so you should check with them directly.
My husband and I did our Pre-Cana near where we live- not in the parish we were getting married. It wasn’t a problem and a lot of couples do it.
I think wanting to have a shared faith with your family is an excellent reason.
As for resources-
Mrs. Dumpling converted to Catholicism, you can find her posts here:
There are some relevant board posts as well:
This site might also have some helpful info:
Post # 5
My background – born and raised Catholic, catholic school, etc. My fiance is Catholic as well.
1. You can definitely do pre-cana at a different church. They give you a certificate when you are done. I am getting married in Iowa, but live in Phoenix and my priest in Iowa was fine with us doing it in Phoenix. There are various options – weekend retreat, sponsor couple, etc.
I am not an expert – You both have to be Catholic to have a mass be a part of your wedding ceremony. The Church will marry you if one of you are Catholic, but no mass.
2. Joining any religion is a big undertaking and it sounds like you have been very thoughtful. The RCIA courses go through a lot of things with you and I have heard great responses from the courses.
My cousin is a priest and he is going to be our celebrant. He likes to inform us that religion is a determinative factor with successful marriages. According to him, couples who share the same religion, attend mass/services, are more likely to have a successful marriage. He is obviously biased with his information. 🙂 It is also great to think through how you want to raise your children together.
3. Not sure of any good Catholic blogs… I get a little nervous reading blogs, there are crazies and extremes in every religion. ha ha.
My take – The Catholic Church isn’t always perfect; religion is love and supposed to be perfect, but sometimes the people are not. I view it as a family member – you may not always be happy and may disagree, but you forgive or learn from it. It has always been such a great support system for me. I have always appreciated the long history of the Church – there is a reason the Catholic Church has lasted for thousands of years. …
Sorry to ramble. Good luck with your decision!!
Post # 6
Good for you. Many blessings. I’m thinking you won’t have a hard time getting married at a different location than precana. But I would work on communicating with the parish.
I hope your family is being supportive too.
Best wishes. God bless.
Ooop. Forgot. A really great Catholic website is http://www.catholic.com.
Post # 7
I know to be married in a Roman Catholic church at least one person of the couple has to have been baptised roman catholic.
Sometimes, more likely than not, the church requires that you’re a member for a certain amount of time to be married there.One church we looked at before fiance and I found our dream church, required 1 1/2 year of being a member, than 6 months notice- after being a member.
Post # 8
You just need to check with the parish on their policies. We are living in CA but getting married in NY, they said no problem to transferring pre-Cana.
"Grounds" must also vary by parish because unlike UofABride, the parish where my sister got married had no objection to a full mass even though my BIL is Baptist.
Post # 9
I actually just finished my RCIA classes. I think that these classes, more than anything else or other’s opinions, will direct you as to whether or not joining the catholic faith is for you. We actually did lose a few people throughout the year that decided it was not for them. For the rest of us, it made us more sure and more content with our decisions. Its such a personal matter, I’m not sure other people’s blogs will be the right way to determine if the faith is right for you.
If you haev any qeustions though, about the class or getting married in the catholic church, feel free to ask. we are getting married in the church we are doing our pre-cana in….but I’ve learned a lot in the past year and would be more than willing to talk about it with you!
Post # 10
I am a Catholic convert too, as is my husband. I joined the church at Easter of 2008. I agree with others that RCIA classes will give you an excellent idea of whether it is a good fit for you. Where I did RCIA it was very low-pressure. There were several people who completed the classes and decided they weren’t ready to join yet, although most did. But above all the priests wanted you to make the best decision for you, so I don’t think RCIA is usually a pressured environment. Congrats to you on wanting to share your fiance’s faith and raise your children in it.
I did however, do a TON of reading, so I can help you out there! Here are some of my favorites:
Stories of Conversion:
- Rome Sweet Home, by Scott & Kimberly Hahn: A conversion story of a married couple. The husband was a Presbyterian minister before converting. This book is just amazing. If you read one thing off this list I’m writing, read this.
- Suprised by Truth, edited by Patrick Madrid: There are at least four volumes of this edited collection of stories of conversion. People from all walks of life give their take, from athiests to Jewish people, to other denominations of Christians, to Catholics who had fallen away from the church and come back.
Stories about Christianity:
- Mere Christianity, by C. S. Lewis: My favorite book on why there is a God.
- The Screwtape Letters, by C. S. Lewis: This is a funny "devil’s advocate" type of story, and it’s wonderful because it draws your attention to the erroneous conclusions we all come to (like that if we are having a tough time with something, it must be false).
Post # 11
Congrats, tifnicole! This is such a big decision! Like chelseamorning, I was just confirmed at Easter 2008. My Fi was born and raised Catholic; he was my sponsor during my RCIA classes, and it was such a great experience to be able to share with him. Good luck during your classes, and feel free to PM me if you would like to talk about this more!
Post # 12
check out Scott Hauhn, Journey into the Catholic Church. He was a presbyterian minister set out to prove the Catholic Church was not Biblically based & expose it. Well .. as he started researching History in combination with Christianity, his findings were shocking. & he became Catholic. he & his wife struggled with it, she was not on board with it, they both wrote the book. he takes you book, chapter verse as well as historically. GOOD book. anyway ….
As long as one one of you is a confirmed practicing Catholic, yes you can get married in the church. My sister is Catholic & she married a non-Catholic, soon to be one in about a year, just like you. usually you go through your pre-cana & so forth through the church where you are parishioners, but you also need to notify them that you are wanting to be married in another Catholic church else where. & also let the church you are getting married in you are parishioners at another church but want your ceremony & so forth done with them. they will work with you. my sister did that, she got married in a 100 yr old Catholic church across town from our home parish but it within walking distance from the reception venue, & with her reniasance theme. . . it was Gorgeous! between the 2 churches, they did it. it is actually very common.
as far as you coming into the church. I think you are on the right track. Once you get into RCIA, the classes will help you more, it will help you to reflect on your personal relationship with Jesus Christ & to better understand Catholicism. It help you to see & decide if this is where God wants you to be & where your relationship with Christ will be best nourished. just because you are in RCIA does not mean you are locked into becoming Catholic, you can quit anytime you want if you feel you need more time. It took my mom 10yrs to make the decision, she was a baptist preachers daughter. & she just felt that the Lord was leading her in that direction. that’s where she felt closest to him. even if you decide to not become Catholic, I do HIGH encrouage you to still allow your child to be raised in the church by his/her dad. & do let your kids experience that part of their paternal roots.
I was married to a protestant & after we married he changed drastically, said I was not a Christian because I was Catholic was very spirtually & verbally abusive. refused for our son to be raised in the church, he was so against my religion he just treated me AWEFUL. He ended up having an affair & leaving. now my son is being rotated between 2 churches. Catholic & protesant. but THANKFULLY .. .. my ex .. .has come to come realizations & he does not bad mouth Catholicism to our son. what is reall really sad is that I begged him back then for us to get counseling & for us to attend 2 churches. & look how it ended up, but you know I couldn’t force him, so I moved on. & eventually so did he.
as long as you have an open mind & an open heart & it sounds like you really do. don’t worry so much about if your reasons for becoming Catholic are right or wrong, thats what RCIA is for, to help you furthure discern over it. Good Luck. =)
Post # 13
Best of luck with everything..how exciting! I would also recommend reading “My Life on the Rock” by Jeff Cavins ( a good friend of Scott Hahn!) My husband converted to Catholicism last Easter and came from a strong non-denominational Protestant background. Many blessings to you and your fiance!