@Kit_Kath: I was exactly like you (a planner who has to know everything! )– until this story (which I posted on another thread some time ago) happened:
My Darling Husband has four children from his first marriage (two are adults, and one of those is married, and two are teens), and we are still hoping that we may be blessed with a child of our own. We’ve talked about this issue several times, and, because I am a Type A planner who loves to be prepared, I told him that I definitely would want to find out the gender in advance. That way, we could paint and decorate with the appropriate gender in mind, and people who would give us gifts would know what to purchase. He completely disagreed with me, saying that he has always been surprised and would want to be surprised again. This actually upset me, because I felt like, “OK, you’ve had FOUR children, and you were able to do things YOUR way. I am in my 40s, and I’ve waited my whole life to possibly have a baby, and you won’t LET me find out the sex in advance?!?!” He then told me I could find out but that I would not be allowed to tell him or anyone else or do anything that could in any way result in him finding out the gender. Well, I thought, what good would THAT do me?
Fast forward a few months, and my older stepson and his wife, who had been trying to conceive, found out that they were expecting. They chose NOT to find out the baby’s sex in advance, and, they decided NOT to tell ANYONE the boy and girl first names they had selected.
When DDIL went into labor, Darling Husband and I, along with DDIL’s family and DSS’s mom, all went to the hospitat to await the pending birth. It was a LONG, LONG day that eventually extended into the wee hours of the following morning. DDIL encountered problems with her hip joint that delayed delivery and caused her extreme pain, despite the epidural. A C-Section was ordered, and DSS then asked his mom and mother-in-law, both of whom had been in the LDR suite, to go down to the waiting room to wait with the rest of us. Eventually, because DDIL was in such intense pain even with the epidural, she finally had to undergo general anesthesia. This meant that even DSS was banned from the O.R.
Not being able to be with his wife and witness the birth, DSS decided to come down to the waiting room to wait along with us. We were all tired and, of course, concerned as we awaited word from upstairs,
FINALLY, an OB nurse came downstairs, with DDIL’s camera in her hand, grinning from ear-to-ear. The mere sight of her happy face caused us all to feel an immediate sense of relief. She handed DSS the camera and said, simply, “They’re both fine. And everything you need to know is on there.”
DSS stood, sobbing with relief, tears streaming down his face, hands shaking, as he struggled between wanting to see all of the pictures at once and trying to absorb every detail of each precious picture. We all surrounded him, peering over his shoulder, listening to his sniffles and sobs, as our eyes sought to take in everything we were seeing. DSS slowly advanced the pics on the digital camera until he came to a full body shot of his precious firstborn, and he cried out in a loud, tearful, quivering voice, “IT’S A GIRL!!!!!! ITS A GIRL!!!!!! IT’S (insert her beautiful name here)!!!!!”
I have to tell you, I am “only” his stepmother, but I LOVE that boy like he is my own son, and that incredibly, PRECIOUS moment is forever etched in my heart and mind. I became choked up just retelling this story. That honestly may have been THE. MOST. BEAUTIFUL. MOMENT that I have EVER been privileged to witness — and be a part of — in my entire life! We were ALL crying. We were ALL overjoyed. And we were all in complete awe that we each had a brand new daughter, granddaugher, or niece — and we finally heard her name. It was absolutely INCREDIBLE.
From that moment on, I decided, I’m with Darling Husband. If WE have a baby, I SO am NOT going to find out what we’re having. I’m sold. 🙂