(Closed) Finding out the sex?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I like the idea of having a contest to decide who will choose! I think that’s what I would do.

To make it extra fair, you could do something that would be purely up to chance ie Rock Paper Scissors. But! It would have to be binding, and nobody is allowed to pout. Also, the winner should have to do something nice since they won. Buy cupcakes or something.

Post # 3
3507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

mdglass:  Ohhhh that’s a hard one. I know it may seem impossible but what if you find out the sex but just don’t tell him. I also don’t know how early you are in your pregnancy but maybe he’ll change his mind and want to know.

Post # 4
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Well, I would say, get pregnant first and then see.  My husband always said that he wouldn’t want to find out the sex because it’s one of the few times in life that either surprise is a happy one (I disagree).  However, once we found out we were having twins, he was on board to know the sex of the babies lol.

Post # 5
1660 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I kind of lean toward the person who doesn’t want to find out should get their way, but it depends on their reasoning.

I don’t want to find out, Darling Husband does… My reasons for not wanting to find out are:

  • It’s kind of a traditon to not find out for the first one in my family. At least 3 generations now.
  • I’m hoping for a drug free labor, and I think that little extra excitement will help me get through.
  • I don’t want to get our hopes up either way and be disappointed if they were wrong (it doesn’t happen often, but it still does. We aren’t planning on getting a lot of ultrasounds and Darling Husband really wants a boy and I wouldn’t want him to be disappointed if they said boy and it ended up being a girl. Same thing reversed, I would be very excited if they said it was a girl, then find out it’s a boy… If I only find out in the moment I can be excited either way!)
  • I want gender neutral things for the baby so we could use them for future children, finding out would make it hard to stay “neutral”.
  • I have the BEST memory of my brother-in-law practically floating down the hallways in the hospital after their first child was born, and making the announcement that they had a girl, it was extra emotional and it is one of my favorite memories.

My Darling Husband just wants to know so he can know. lol

Post # 7
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would say ultimately, it’s up to the mom whether you find out the sex or not. Some women think it is motivational during labor not to know the sex, and other women think it’s motivational during labor or helps them feel more connected to the pregnancy to know the sex.

I would not suggest finding out the sex behind his back and pretending that you don’t know. It’s bound to slip out, and it’s also kind of shady.

Post # 8
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d also say wait until you get pregnant and then decide. You might both feel differently when you are actually expecting a baby.

I would also just offer up this cautionary tale about discovering the gender of an expected baby too. Only my son and DIL had their second child last year. My DIL had THREE ultrasound scans all of which confirmed she was having a boy. A brother to their gorgeous little daughter. They’d decided on names and had given away all my granddaughter’s “girlie” baby clothes.

Come the Big Labour Day, little Phoebe was born! And, as her name suggests, she is a girl! 

So all I’d say is that no matter how much you want to know the gender of your baby, Mother Nature has a habit of knowing better than even the best technology. 

Post # 9
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

mdglass:  Maybe find a card game where you can keep a running tournament. Start after you find out you’re pregnant, and then when you guys are free in the evening or on  weekends, you can play a few rounds of your “tournament”….make it last a few weeks until you’re close to finding out the sex, and the winner decides.

I don’t know….I found out the sex of my first– and I really wanted to.  I has a boys name picked out, and I wanted to know if we were going to get to use it– because I really had a hard time with girl’s names LOL (baby was a boy!) 🙂

I think there are lots of clothes (if you know where to shop) that are gender neutral.  And at first, it might be easy to get baby’s room together…I swore that I wasn’t going to go all blue for a boy…..but that didn’t work out (mostly because blues and greens are my favorite colors, anyway….)


Your husband might change his mind after you’re actually pregnant.  A lot of people think they know what they want before they are actually pregnant.  


I always try to tell people that even if you want a drug-free birth, be prepared to let go of that if needed.  



Cory_loves_this_girl:  IMO, mom taking charge and deciding whether or not to fnd out the sex is just as shady as behind the back stuff.  Mom and Dad are a team during this….so I do think it should be a joint decision.  There are lots of other decisions that are hard to make during marriage, and while I am all about women and thier bodies….if you’re having a baby with your husband, I think you should should come to a decision together about whether or not to find out of the sex.

Post # 10
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I also say wait until you are pregnant. I thought I would want to wait, but when I got pregnant with Dirty Delete, I HAD to find out. I had to plan, I had to know. Darling Husband also really wanted to know and that pressure made me cave.

I’m now pregnant with #2 and have told Darling Husband that we are NOT finding out, even though he wants to… lol

Maybe you can compromise. if you plan on having more than one…? Find out the first time but not the second!

Post # 12
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011


I wanted to know my Darling Husband did not, I won that, like you I am a planner and honestly it is so much easier to get the nursery to clothing when you do know the gender. 

Though, I can say now that we had 1 child if we have a 2nd child, not sure if want to find out or not. 

Post # 13
3507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

mdglass:  Yeahhhhh it will happen I’m sure lol how could you keep it in! hopefully he changes his mind

Post # 15
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

mdglass:  I agree with others who say wait until you are pregnant and see how you feel. My husband and I knew we were going to have a difficult time with names so we made the decision that we wanted to find out to narrow that down a bit. Plus, we are both impatient. Something to keep in mind when you are planning… even if you do plan to find out just by an ultrasound there is always that chance that they are wrong anyway so beware of this if you are a “planner.” We found out girl but we are still going very very gender nuetral for clothing and registry items JUST IN CASE.

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