(Closed) Finding time to hang out with your Single friends

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Why not invite them to your home every couple of weekends?

Surely not even the most lovey dovey couple wants to spend 48 straight hours of weekend time together 🙂 so maybe you can find activities you can meet up with your girls for – shopping, lunch, etc.

Post # 5
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d keep trying to hang out with them on weeknights. They should be considerate enough to know that it is easier for you to hang out after work to save you some drive time. Why not find a TV show to watch together at their house? Offer to bring the groceries to cook dinner and hang out low key? We used to do “Friends” night back in the day. Now I have a small circle for “Project Runway”.

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Your schedule doesn’t seem that bad. It seems like you mostly don’t want to drive into town on a weekend. I feel like husband will always be there but if i blow off my friends, they will disappear, so I really try to make time to see my friends. Not every weekend necessarily, but if someone calls and wants to do dinner, I go do it. If they want to go shopping, I go, too!

Make time. You can skip dinner with your husband one night a week and I doubt the house will fall apart, particularly if your husband helps out, too. I have one friend who got married and kinda fell off the face of the earth. We stopped inviting her out b/c we got tired of “no, i’m with my husband” because she never made time for us. Ever. Emails go relatively unanswered because she’s busy. Too busy for friends I guess! If you keep doing this, your friends will get tired of your answers and stop inviting you out.

If you want to meet with them during the week, I’d really try to set up a happy hour every Thursday or something. We were during Wednesday sushi+martini for the longest time. And even though we are newlyweds, too, my husband still goes to his friend’s house every Sunday to watch football. I don’t see how losing him for 6 hours a day really puts a cramp in our style, so even if you go do something on a Saturday or Sunday (i like the idea of inviting them over for dinner or something so they’re traveling, too), you still get to see him.

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh…well, shoot. If you see them during the week AND they want to see you on weekends, well, that does make it tough! I just know that it gets hard to keep inviting someone who ALWAYS says no (which is the case of my friend, obviously not yours since you do see them). I missed that in the first post. I’d make an effort to see them, say, 1-2 times a month on weekends, whether you travel there or you invite them over for something. We would do happy hour for like, 3 hour stints, so it was more than just a quick drink.

Is there anything at the halfway mark between you guys?

Post # 10
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Blondie–
I am on the other side of your situation, except I’m not single.  My friend (was MOH) moved about 45 min – 1 hr south of Kansas City to live with her bf, but still works here.  She is only willing to do things during the week and these things have to be RIGHT after work.  When I ask her to do things on the weekend she is too busy or doesnt want to drive to the “city.”  I even asked her to do something last week b/c we both had the whole week off and she said she didn’t want to come in to the “city.”

Here is what I wish she would do: 1)  Make time for her friends in the “city” every once in awhile on the weekends (not every weekend, but maybe once or so a month!)  2) Invite US to HER place!  She never presents that as an option, and I think she/you might be surprised at the fact that we realize she would have to drive to see us on the weekends, so we will drive to see her!!  If you have nothing to do in your town, just make dinner/get some wine/etc. and have a fun night at home!

Hope that helps!

Post # 11
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i’m with daydream – that’s what i’ve started to do. in NY it’s expensive to go out all the time, and i work insane and often unpredictable hours during the week…plus i loooove cooking so i’ve been having a rotating invite people over for dinner gathering, whether my man is home or not. i still try to make time to go to other people, but i find it’s easier to have a real conversation with people if i’m not screaming at the top of my lungs over loud music or being distracted by large crowds 🙂

Post # 12
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I mostly do happy hours with my friends, or meet them for lunch (in the middle!) on the weekends. Seems to keep everyone happy!

Post # 13
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I have wonderful, understanding single friends who have happily agreed to see me at our Book Club meetings once a month, our monthly ‘girl’ dinners which are always on a Wed or Thurs, and always come over when Fiance and I have parties (which is probably about once a month). So it works out perfectly! We also go shopping sometimes on the weekends, but it isn’t very frequent.

FI’s friends (single and not) like to hang out probably once or twice a month on a Friday or Saturday and that’s fine. It’s always planned out well in advance.

The problem is, that if you have a large group of friends who are still single, they are going to want to go out ‘guy hunting’ every weekend which usually involves staying out all night and drinking. As a married (or engaged) woman, that is almost no longer acceptable or even appealing anymore as it is very exhausting. You could always try to compromise with them saying “Gee ladies, I would love to hang out with you like the old days when I lived nearby, but now I have an hour drive to see you and can’t easily do that after I’ve been drinking or late at night. How about we meet once a month for dinner after work?”

Post # 16
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I live far from a lot of my girlfriends (single or no) and we try to get together monthly for dinner…but it definitely helps if they’re willing to meet halfway. Maybe a halfway point for lunch, like ms. spaniel mentioned?

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