(Closed) Fire a Bridesmaid help – crazy crazy story!!!!!

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

 

WTF is this.

 

So….did you put your hands on her neck? It sounds like you didn’t but she thinks you did?

She was outside with a married man…what?? I don’t think I want to know how you knew he’s married or how she found him and somehow convinced him to give her money….

Forget your wedding, if she really suffers from PTSD, she needs help. Based on the other friend saying she’s seen this side of her, she sounds like she’s not stable.

I would return her call and keep calm and offer to get her help. Then address the meds/drinking/wedding.

Post # 3
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I think she is a lunatic. 

Post # 4
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee

chrisomer:  She sounds trashy and I don’t know enough about PTDS. But those were her choices in regards to the married man and older lady. But that didn’t give you the right to lay a hand on her, you said it yourself that you did. I understand about trying to calm her down. But those are bruises on her neck. And really, it’s her words against yours. I have no advice because this was an unfortunate event all around. I don’t think this situation should be about your wedding, it should be about her getting help, talking it through with it. Because with those bruises, you can be charged with assault. 

Post # 5
Member
6865 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Why are you friends with this person?! Does she usually get high on pills? I just…what???

Post # 6
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

It looks more like a icky mark than a choking  mark. The bruises don’t look like finger print. put you hand on your neck like you choking yoursel. You will see where the marks should have been.

Post # 7
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

This is far more serious than your wedding. If someone accused me of physical assault I did not commit, we would have a huge issue. This allegation could follow you around for the rest of your life should she decide to pursue legal action, even if you end up getting the charge dismissed. In my line of work I regularly undergo background checks and I can tell you something like this would leave me jobless.

This is really serious and I think you need to follow up with her and see where she stands on this now. You say you did not leave those bruises but clearly she thinks you did and it’s really only your word against hers if she pursues it. Be proactive. This is about more than just your wedding at this point.

Post # 8
Member
2506 posts
Sugar bee

the bruises on her neck are probably from the severl people she made out with…

Post # 9
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I think you need to get a lawyer, get statements from your friends and make sure that this doesn’t turn into somethng that could haunt you the rest of your life. She said she was done and out so I think you can assume she isn’t going to your wedding. Talk to a lawyer before you talk to her. I don’t know anything about what choking marks are supposed to look like but IMO they don’t look like it. Have you talked to your Fiance about this? This is some serious stuff.

Post # 10
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Oh my god, she sounds so unstable. Those don’t look like choking marks at all. I would go ahead and consult a lawyer, get statements from all of your friends and then have your lawyer contact her with a cease and desist letter. 

How far away is your wedding? If you haven’t sent invitations out yet, definitely don’t send one to her. If they have gone out already, you’ll have to find a way to communicate with her that she is not welcome, talk to your lawyer and I’m sure they’d be able to handle that.

Post # 11
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

chrisomer:  I agree with others here about taking the accusation seriously. It may end up being nothing, but better safe than sorry. She has clearly taken pictures and “documented” telling you that you choked her (whether that’s true or not – she can refer back to the texts to establish the consistency of her side of the story). I would follow the advice acglandorf: gave and contact a lawyer before talking to her.

You may talk to her later and she may seem normal, but she has these pictures and the texts and can always come back later and file charges. 

Post # 15
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I honestly would just never talk to her again. Her story would never in a million years hold up. You have lots of witnesses. I wouldn’t worry about that. Time to let that friendship go and definitely don’t bother sending an invite. It’s on HER to applogize and go above and beyond to try to win you back. I wouldnt even give her the chance for months. Maybe after the wedding. 

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