(Closed) Fire a Bridesmaid help – crazy crazy story!!!!!

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 46
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 1999

Normally I wouldn’t for pretty much any reason.  This however is a reason.  Don’t kick her out of the party.  Kick her out of your life!!

Post # 47
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

chrisomer:  I’ve only read the first page of replies and just wanted to Urge you to NOT leave this for a week without talking to her. From the story you’ve shared, it sounds as though she’s the kind of person that will come up with a scenario in her head and then that will be the truth of what happened, despite many people telling her otherwise. As someone who has PTSD, yes it can be triggered unexpectedly, so something that seems random and a non-issue/event to others, can have a huge impact on me. With that said, I’m seeking professional help in order to better myself and situation and I’d highly recommend you suggest this to your (ex)friend. If I were you, like PPs have said get statements from others that were there to cover yourself just in case. Sit Bridesmaid or Best Man Down and tell her with the accusations she’s made against you, you’re no longer comfortable with her attending the wedding. It’s a tough decision to make, but personally i think you’d be better off. You don’t want to feel on edge your wedding day! 

Post # 48
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

Many, many years ago I lived with a friend who turned out to batshit crazy. Which, was ironic because we were both psychiatric nurses! Originally I just thought she was dramatic and high strung, but it was more than that. Long story short, she attacked me one night in our living room (while I was on crutches!) I  punched her in the face during the attack and she called the police. I was honest with the officer and admitted I’d punched her. She lied and said she hadn’t attacked me. The officer forced me to leave my apartment in the middle of the night without my belongings. She proceed to steal a ton of my stuff and it was a nightmare to get into the apartment to rescue what I could. Fortunately she was fired from work the next day, otherwise that could’ve been a disaster as well. Moral of the story is do not admit to any physical contact with her at all. If she does try to press charges do no not talk until you’ve consulted a lawyer. Hopefully she won’t try anything and you can just cut her completely out of your life and stay as far away from her as possible. Whatever you do, dont be alone with her! You may find it beneficial to read about Borderline Personality Disorder, chances are you’ll recognize your “friend” in the description

Post # 49
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Update?

Post # 50
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

chrisomer:  Update OP? I really hope you spoke to a lawyer about this! 

Post # 52
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would never talk to this woman again and cut all ties. Do not let this woman come to your wedding. She has already been to court 3 times this past year for other things? Oh boy, stay far far away from this one. She may ruin your wedding! She almost ruined/ it sounds like she did ruin, your bachelorette party! This is the craziest story ever! Good luck!!

Post # 53
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

chrisomer:  well looks like your wedding was last month…How did it go?!

Post # 54
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

wow wow wow wow wow!  I don’t know what else to say.  She is friggin crazy!

Post # 55
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

tessadub:  Oppps, yeah, looks like the wedding was last month!  Follow-up?

Post # 57
Member
697 posts
Busy bee

BeachIU05:  +1000

Those marks do look like hickeys and not choke marks but I would still protect myself from this crazy lady, she is super unstable. If she truly has PTSD she does need help but you can’t let her accuse you for an assult you didn’t commit. I would get a cease and desist letter from her and tell her she’s out of my wedding and life until she gets the help she needs.

Post # 59
Member
2175 posts
Buzzing bee

If she is drinking that much on klonopin, she needs help. I would definitely send her some form of communication, even a hand written letter, saying how much you care about her well being and that perhaps being in your wedding isn’t appropriate for her at this time. She needs support to be able to work on herself. Also tell her in the letter that if she needs support, a listening ear, a ride to a meeting or therapist, etc, you are there for her. Until she demonstrates she accepts she has a problem and is actively getting help for it, you have to distance yourself from her. Being upset about her actions won’t help at all and will probably just feed into her abusive actions. Whether that abuse is directed toward you, someone else or herself. Don’t even mention the things that happened. Just say you know she needs help and hope she can find it. Even look up numbers for her to call or organizations that can help her and list them in the letter/email,etc. This might make her mad and she might not be at your wedding. You may not hear from her in a long time, but her safety is more important than anything else right now. 

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